Temporarily Puns

It's being called the great Merlot furlough.

They were experiencing tentacle difficulties

...so I told her that her mom saw a few hairs fall out of her head and freaked out.

My daughter responds, completely deadpan, "mom had rabbits falling out of her head?"

She's going to be a great dad one day.

Edit: skipped a word

Medical experts have named it "carpool tonal syndrome".

Because it needed a P break

temporarily clothed

I'm moving out temporarily, and am bringing some with me. But bringing the strategy game is not a Risk I'm willing to take.

The lights were weaving in and out between the strings, all over the fretboard, etc, rendering it temporarily unplayable. So I asked, "How are you going to play it now with the lights between the strings?" He replied with, "Carefully." Of course. "But the lights will stop the strings from being used properly!"

"Well, they'll just feel a little lighter then, won't they?"

I was putting my daughter in the car, which was temporarily preventing a lady from entering hers. She smiled and told me not to hurry; that she was patient. I said to her, "Well this is 'patient' parking...

She politely laughed and my wife gave me a healthy eye roll once in the car.

He had a saw in the back of his truck, but it needed to be taken out temporarily. So I put it in the shop, but forget to put it back when I was done. This happened..

Boss: Was my saw in my truck when you took it? Me: Yes Boss: It's not there anymore. Me: Do you think it was stolen? Boss: .... Me: Well I hope someone "saw" it.

A week ago I just purchased a condo. After closing my parents met me at the empty condo, and we had lunch. While waiting for the locksmith to rekey the locks, we moved in a patio loveseat and 1 camping chair, and put them temporarily in the main room for us to sit. Everything else would be moved in the next day.

Locksmith comes, and while he is working on the back door we sit down. My dad turns to me and says "You've got enough money to pay the locksmith." The locksmith pauses and looks at me as I say "Yes". Dad then says:

"I'm proud of you for being able to get this place. And don't worry, I'm sure one day you'll be able to afford furniture."

The locksmith looks uncomfortable and moves to a different door. My dad then just starts laughing uncontrollably. I just stare at him in shock, it was so well delivered. And hey! The locksmith gave me a discount as he felt sorry for me.