Taunts Puns

"But it is a CUP-etition!"

... I've never been so proud of her.

B-by Taunt-tauntaunting him.

Kid: What?

Dad: The singer was a good looking fellow, and his friends danced on the walls

Kid: What?

Dad: The singer was well dressed, and he kept taunting me

Kid: What?

Dad: He was so rhythmic and his baritone voice was so smooth - but he kept taunting me

Kid: What are you talking about Dad?

Dad: The singer! He said he would lend me some, but not all of his Pixar DVD collection

Kid: Who was this singer?

Dad: Rick something

Kid: Rick something?

Dad: Rick something, and he said he was never going to give me Up

They show no merci.

During World War 2, a spy working for the East, and a spy working for Great Britain infiltrated Nazi Germany.

Their mission, eliminating a Schutzstaffel officer.

They succeeded, and the british infiltrator taunted his target afterwards

However, his comrade in arms then punched him in the face.

Why ?

>!He had said "You SS are stupid."!<

My girlfriend and I were arguing this morning.

The kind of argument where only one of us is upset and the other thinks its hilarious.

To taunt me, she asked "How mad are you"?

I tried being tough when I replied "soooo mad right now".

With a grin she asks "like super mad"?

Not seeing the trap before me I respond "Yes, I am super mad"!

This backfired horribly as she proceeded to take the towel on her head and tie it around her neck as a cape. Then she ran circles in the kitchen with her arms extended, pretending to fly yelling "You're a bird! You're a plane! Youuuuuuuu're SUPER MAAAD!"

Pretty sure she forgot I was even there.

She wins this round.

I was talking Disney princesses (what else?) with my 3-year-old daughter at bath time, and she told me Pocahontas called her stupid and was no longer her friend.

"Sheesh," I said. "More like Poca-taunt-us, right?"

Crickets.