[request] Swiss Pun

Asking a Swiss foreign exchange student to prom, help me find something to write on a sign please.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notpalmer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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Which kind of Swiss cheese always celebrates its birthday?

Gruyère

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kasegauner
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.

We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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I hope this is (Swiss) cheesy enough for my first post
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamachi_Carpaccio
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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I’ve been working on my thesis that Swiss cheese is the greatest of all cheese.

But my proctor keeps finding holes in it.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Excuse me, why are there only donuts, bagels, and swiss cheese at this store?

Sir this is a Hole Foods.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fathertime108
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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I just learned that they're giving away soda in the Swiss mountains.

Apparently there's a guy up there just shouting, "Freeeee Colaaaaa"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roshamjoe_paints
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Why does the pope like swiss cheese?

Because it's holey....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshually
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Why can’t Swiss cheese be part of a fat-free diet?

It’s made with hole milk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoolaidPower
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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What do you call "swiss cheese" w/o any holes?

Unholy cheese.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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I’d make an argument for Swiss cheese being the best in the whole world

I’d make an argument for Swiss cheese being the best in the whole world, but it would probably be full of holes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/decoolegastdotzip
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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Why did Christopher Columbus pull a bunch of Swiss chard out of the ocean?

He wanted to be in uncharded waters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gecko_echo
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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How do you make a Swiss roll?

Just push them down a slope

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noob07inferno
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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I tried to get my Swiss army knife through customs but they would not let me through.

That's what I get for bringing a 4-in-1.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adomoto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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I had to stop reading the book, The Swiss Cheese Murders...

The plot was full of holes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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I ordered a meatball and got a hot ham and swiss instead.

Darn. Wrong sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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Went to the local deli and ordered 1 lb of Swiss. The clerk gave me 3.5 lb instead.

I guess he went ham on that Swiss.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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What do the swiss guard and swiss cheese have in common?

They're both known for their holiness

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majike03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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Swiss barbie knife
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knight_light455
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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I asked my Swiss friend what is his favorite part about being from Switzerland?

He says, "Well, the flag is a big plus."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewdavis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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What’s another word for a swiss insult?

A β€œBerne.”

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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There's no such thing as a good story about Swiss cheese.

There's always too many holes in the plot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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Swiss army wife
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trepach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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I'm trying to decide if I like swiss cheese..

Feeling neutral about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kelweb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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People say that swiss cheese is the best... But I found a couple holes in that theory
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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I was making a sandwich the other day and put a slice if swiss cheese on it. My son asked, "Dad, pepperjack is you favorite, why are you using swiss cheese?"

I relied, "Cutting calories!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonnnylong
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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The Swiss currency is, francly, excellent
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lorcan_g
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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I just sold my collection of Swiss watches to a friend in Mexico City.

Adios Omegas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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What type of dairy cattle do they get milk for Swiss cheese?

Holy cow!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmellyRapscallion
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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As the famous Swiss watchmaker once said...

...timing is everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bakerkc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Have you heard about my store that only sells organic donuts, bagels, and swiss cheese?

We’re calling it Hole Foods.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CroqueMonsieur
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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Asked my Swiss friend what he liked most about living in Switzerland.

He said he wasn't sure but the flag was a big plus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brozarth
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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At that Vatican they only eat Swiss cheese.

It’s clearly the holiest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/divinetaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Did anyone else hear about the Vatican naming swiss as the official cheese for christianity?

That's right, it's the holiest of cheeses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McCushAgin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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As a swiss tennis player, do you think Roger Federer is a fan of...

Net neutrality

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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Swiss judoka is named Tschopp
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AcidTest2000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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I lost my collection of Swiss watches while traveling through Madrid.

Adios, Omegas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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I always hear people say they don't like the holes in Swiss cheese

Just eat around them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Steevehn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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A controversial British-Indian author was found dead today by a Swiss man today when he opened a can of fish to make a potato cake.

It is believed to be a salmon rosti.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicsnail14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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Why does the Pope like Swiss cheese?

Because it's holy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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What kind of milk do they use to make swiss cheese?

Hole milk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uldrenek
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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People always ask me how good it is to be Swiss

Well the flags a big plus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobGobble
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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Why didn't the police believe the Swiss cheese?

Because his story was full of holes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/General_Kabo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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Why do Swiss cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyleos97
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
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I sent my collection of Swiss watches to friends in Mexico, but they got lost.

Adios Omegas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
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How do you make a Swiss roll?

You push him over

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lunamoon1994
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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