Sugar free candies would be much cheaper without the sugar in it.

They'd be free.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dotduck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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I work in a nursing home. A diabetic schizophrenic I always give sugar free life savers to just said, "You haven't brought me any damn candy all day!" I replied, " I just got here, you need to be patient."

She said,"I am a damn patient!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ugadrugdawg
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.

The decision was a piece of cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.

It could be a lifesaver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Need candy puns for a short film!

Basically, the short is about a gingerbread man who is addicted to sugar. He goes to a Sugarholics Anonymous meeting and there are motivational posters on the wall:

Donut Give Up! Yes You Candy!

... Looking for more ideas, and figured you guys are the people to ask. Donut let me down!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSCC88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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Dad jokes galore: Candy company settles with mid-Missouri man over underfilled boxes

A settlement has been reached in one of the sweetest lawsuits ever to be filed in federal court, but details of the payday are under wrappers.

Daryl White Jr. of Belle, Missouri, didn’t sugar coat his anger about paying a dollar apiece for boxes of Mike and Ikes and Hot Tamales that were only two-thirds full. Determined not to be a sucker, he hired counsel and paid the U.S. District Court Western District of Missouri a $400 filing fee to sue Just Born Inc., the candymaker’s parent company, for alleged deceptive advertising and unjust enrichment.

SOURCE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/missourijake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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A confectionary treasure.

Christmas was at Mom's house this year. She has to buy at least 10 lbs of sugar to make all the treats and candy that everyone wants. She has all of the candy and pies and things on the counter in the dinning room. As family members arrived and everyone made their way passed the dinning room my niece(14) came in.

Her: You've been standing in here for a while.

Me: Yup, it's the sweetest spot in the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/123_Syzygy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2016
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