The big bad wolf converted to Buddhism and there was finally peace in the forest. But suddenly, the air was filled with screams of terror! A bear asked the animals running past him, "What's happening now?"
"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"
"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.
"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"
Bilbo Baggins wakes up suddenly to “Don’t Stop Believing”.
It was an unexpected Journey.
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling “I stepped on a Bee!”
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
A giant hole suddenly appeared in the street next to us.
The cops are currently looking into it.
I lost the tips of my feet in an accident, and later when I told my friend what happened he suddenly punched me.
Turns out he’s lack-toes intolerant
I was sitting at a red light with my family, when all of a sudden I said "Look, son! A super hero!"
What do you call an alligator that shows up suddenly and out of nowhere?
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”
To all the warm water that suddenly encountered cool air…
The two men stared intensely at each other over the chessboard, neither one making a move. Suddenly, one of the men gasped in horror and shouted, "How is this possible? You must be taught by the Soviets!"
The other smirked and replied, "Czech, mate."
I went in for a Covid test and my doctor asked if I had a sudden loss of taste
"No, I always dress like this", I replied.
An English ship on the way to Germany suddenly starts making water and is about to capsize.. After some trying they finally manage to reach the coastguard "We're sinking, we're sinking!!"
.. A confused but also quite curious voice responds.. "What are you sinking about?"
A family is sitting at the dining room table having a nice family dinner, when suddenly...
One thing led to another, and the father and son get into a pretty heated argument.
The son stands up and storms off, headed to his room.
As he is going up the stairs, he yells down to his dad, "Jim Morrison is overrated!!!"
So, the dad screams back, "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS?!?!?!"
I woke up suddenly terrified I'm late for work.
I opened my eyes and chilled.....I'm at work.
If gravity suddenly flipped upside down, that's when
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their moustache, and suddenly...
She isn’t your friend anymore.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
Jay Leno went to Morgan Freeman’s house and had a lot of drinks. Leno suddenly started to urinate on Freeman’s carpet. Freeman was furious and ran after him as he kept on urinating. The banker next door saw the whole thing and decided to start a bank...
Kids, that is the true story of how Jay-pee-Morgan-chase was named
My favorite grocery store cashier suddenly disappeared. When I asked what happened, they said-
I once traveled to the Middle East, and suddenly, someone threw a rock at me.
I made myself a small open pie filled with sliced apples and sugar, but I misplaced it shortly after. Suddenly I was no longer hungry
I'd completely lost my appletart
We were having breakfast yesterday, and dad suddenly threw a slinky at my head.
He said, “Spring is in the air!”
My wife was a little puzzled when I suddenly bought some new beads for her abacus. Smiling, I said to her...
"Honey, it’s the little things that count!"
Suddenly YouTube is recommending me nothing but climate change videos
Praise the YouTube Al-Gore-Rythym
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working.
It doesn’t make any cents.
The 20c making machine at The Mint suddenly stop working for no reason.
It just doesn't make any cents
I play Chess regularly with my friend, but last time he suddenly said " let's make this interesting "...
..so we stopped and went home.
You know sometimes I get the sudden urge to run around naked.
But then I just drink some Windex. It keeps me from streaking.
I suddenly realized I was going through the airport turnstile sideways, but it was too late...
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
I was driving absentmindedly and my wife suddenly said, “Hey, you missed a right!”
I said, “Thanks babe. You Mrs. Right!”
I don’t know why Reddit is suddenly obsessed with beavers
My friend and I were talking about another friend who became a preacher when he suddenly showed up seeking advice for his sermon...
I said, "well, speak of the devil!"
Did you hear about the church musician who died suddenly?
Turns out it was organ failure.
Help! Everything looks pixelated all the sudden.
I think I set my New-Year's Resolution too low
I was driving through Quebec, and a cop suddenly pulled me over eating fries and gravy.
It was a poutine traffic stop.
Reading an interview with Alison Moyet and suddenly...
A man was chopping down a tree but was surprised when the tree suddenly exclaimed, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
then he responded, "And you will dialogue!"
Bilbo Baggins suddenly wakes up and hears someone singing “Don’t stop Believing”.
It was an unexpected Journey.
A woman suddenly in labor shouts, shouldn’t! wouldn’t! couldn’t! didn’t! can’t! The doctor says "don't worry."
“Those are just contractions.”
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation.
It doesn’t make any cents.
Bilbo Baggins wakes up suddenly to “Don’t stop Believing”.
It was an unexpected Journey.
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation.
It just doesn’t make any cents.
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, without explanation.
It doesn't make any cents!
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