A chicken walks into a library

It goes up to the librarian and says "bok." The shocked librarian looks at the chicken and says, "Excuse me, what?" and the chicken repeats, "bok."

The librarian thinks a moment before asking, "You want a book?" The chicken nods and says, "bok," so the librarian goes and gives the chicken a book, and it walks out.

A few minutes later the chicken struts back in and says "bok bok." The librarian, still shocked, asks if it wants two books, to which the chicken replies, "bok bok." So the librarian gets two more books and gives them to the chicken.

A few more minutes pass and the chicken walks back up to the front desk, saying "bok bok bok." The librarian nods and fetches three more books, but this time decides to follow the chicken outside.

Tailing the chicken, she watches as it walks out to the parking lot, where a frog is sitting by a pile of books. When the chicken lays the new delivery before it, the frog takes one look and says, "reddit, reddit!"

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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What do you call margarine's sassy walk?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPossible
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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Spring is just around the corner.

https://i.imgur.com/qj2acmP.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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(UK) A B-road walks into a bar.

The B-road starts bragging extensively about his status as a B-road. The bar staff and patrons aren't impressed.

Then, an A-road struts in. The A-road immediately starts criticising the B-road, whilst also bragging about his own status. The two get into a big argument, and the patrons are starting to get riled up.

Then, a motorway barges his way into the bar, and starts boasting that he is better than the A-road and B-road combined. The argument escalates, and some customers grab their belongings, preparing to leave.

And then, a solid white line walks into the bar.

The whole bar falls silent. The argument stops dead in its tracks, and the three roads immediately disperse, avoiding eye contact with the new customer.

The solid white line goes up to the bar, orders a drink, and consumes it slowly. The bar is still silent. As soon as he is finished, the solid white line turns and leaves the bar without a word. The three roads breathe a sigh of relief.

The barman is astounded. "What the hell was that about?!" he exclaims.

"We don't mess with him" mutters the motorway.

"Why not?"

"He's a cycle path".

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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The new sailor, Leo, asked me where the ship's cook could be found.

I said, "He's in the Galley, Leo."

I swear, that guy struts around like all the planets revolve around him.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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My friend moves on foot with a pompous gait while carrying an airplane wing bracing...

He walks with a strut.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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Three pieces of string want to go into a no strings allowed bar.

The first piece of string says it’s all about the attitude and struts into the bar. The bouncer looks at him and says, β€œno stings allowed” and throws him out.

The second piece of string says, β€œyou’ve got to be sneaky” and tries to sneak in. But the bouncer sees him and says β€œno stings allowed” and throws him out.

The third piece of string thinks β€œmaybe if I disguise myself”. He then ties himself into a know and frays his edge. The bouncer looks at him confused and asks, β€œhey, are you a string?”

The sting replies, β€œno, I’m a frayed knot”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirmorganc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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"My dad asked me to mock up his new "rocking" chair idea." (x-post from /r/gifs)
πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnluckyLuke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
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Why did the Chicken take its vehicle to, the mechanic?

Bad strut.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CommaHorror
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
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What do you do when you're an airplane at a fashion show and you don't know what you're doing?

Just go down the runway as fast as you can and wing it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2016
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We were in the pasta aisle, they were in home goods...

Shopping-

Me: Hey, is gnocchi vegan?

Dad: Of course it is! It's got gno-cheese!

Then a World Market employee four aisles away completely bowled over laughing, literally hooting and hollering. My dad has been strutting around all proud of his joke all day. I don't think I can ever go back there.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anandora
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
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