Pulp fiction.
It was too time consuming.
He ran out of gas.
They said "please hold"
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
It was an unexpected Journey.
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
I said maybe
I had to put my foot down.
My doctor says it’s terminal
They wear tide-die!
EDIT: I know it’s not exactly the dryest humor but I still thought it was fun.
it's becoming a pain in the ass.
Either way, the silver bullets worked.
They were going cheep
...he tells the owner and bartender that he’s a surgeon down at the hospital and he just wants to forget about everything for awhile.
Dick knows just the thing. He quickly whips up a thick, exotic beverage and places it in front of the worn out doctor. He takes one sip and his eyes light up. “What IS that?” “That’s my signature almond daiquiri”, Dick tells him. The surgeon tells him it’s delicious, pays his bill and comes back the next day and the next day at the same time for the same thing: An almond daiquiri.
Before long, like clockwork, Dick is able to have it ready for him just before he comes in. But, one day as he is preparing the drink, he realizes that he’s run out of almonds! With no time to lose, he quickly substitutes the almonds with hickory nuts and sets the beverage on the bar.
The surgeon pops in, takes a big gulp, and immediately spits it all over the bar. He looks at the bartender and says, “That’s not an almond daiquiri, Dick!” And Dick says, “No, it’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc!”.
One is a crusty bus station while the other is a busty crustacean
Sorry, but I had to put my foot down with that one.
I thought: "Why knot?"
He had interior motives
I never saw it coming, wouldn’t have suspected it
Roll-on.
I asked her, "Who's Literally?"
The work gave him gnawsea
I don’t know, it makes no sense.
As they say, hindsight is 2020.
Tie his hands behind his back....
“Officer, the sign clearly says to ‘pet area.’”
By sheer will.
Dad: Sure, why? Son: I need to go to the bathroom and the sign says they have the best craps in the state.
They are are the würst
But I told them I couldn’t quit cold turkey
I'm going to quit cold turkey.
So I packed her things and left.
Wait, is that even a good enough resolution? Idk
Seriously just drop it
im sorry u read this
A whisk taker
Re: Oh, just you wait...
He couldn’t make a Prophet.
I think it may be terminal
So I had to put my foot down.
I said maybe
It was an unexpected Journey.
I had to put my foot down
I said maybe.......
