Soccer Goal Puns

To clarify, he is a soccer player Don't worry, he's still alive and kicking

Edit: I just wanted to thank everyone for the awards, and the upvotes

Sorry if anyone found this offensive ⚽️

My family is new to the soccer club and they asked if I could help fix the goals. I told my daughter and wife, you could say I am networking….

Greeting, I'm the MC at a small high school soccer banquet this evening and need some humor help. I play rugby and my son plays soccer so any little digs I can get about that would be helpful too. We are American and I don't know any pro soccer player so please refrain on specific players. Thanks in advance.

I play indoor soccer with a group of guys every Thursday night at the local church. We play for fun so we have some ground rules so it doesn't get too aggressive. One of the guys went for a slide and scored a goal everyone was quite upset at this knowing we had already established that sliding, especially indoor, was not allowed. While everyone was arguing whether the goal counted or not I responded with, " I think we can let that one slide." Collective groan from many, many others allowed it.

Ok, so we're walking into church, and there's a nativity set up on the soccer field. My mom asks "why do they have a nativity set up in a soccer goal?" And without missing a beat, he yells "because Jesus saves!"

I volunteer with Jr. High kids and Highschoolers on Wednesday nights. This week we decided to play some indoor soccer, so we took out the soccer nets that we had stored. I see them and walk over to a group of volunteer girls and ask, "Hey, do you want to see our organization's goals?" while pointing at the soccer nets. They all groaned while I walked away laughing and proud of my joke.