I said, “Whoopi Goldberg is ok, but I don’t like the other women on the show.”
Shear size
I think I'm hitting ROCK BOTTOM
But I realized it's because their work is Neva Dan
Because its head is so far from its body...
He was just Biden his time
He was Biden his time
It's not easy getting 360 degrees!
They were Stalin.
Because they cantaloupe.
Watson (constipated): "No shit, Sherlock."
Cheese and quackers
Dear, me.
"I couldn't accept all those perms and conditions."
She did not hold Up well.
Friend 2: So far, so good
Looks like someone fell asleep at the Switch.
For the first time in my life, everything is falling into place.
It was an all knight party
They were Stalin.
My baby corn is now a corn teen
You could say it's my maison d'être.
“In a minute.”
Because Russia kept stalin
Because they can spend years at C
So this dad likes to listen to his daughter's prayers every time she does them. One night when he is standing by her door, he overhears her say "God bless mom, God bless dad, God bless grandma, and goodbye grandpa." The dad is thinking "Ok that was pretty weird, but whatever."
The next morning, he learns that the grandpa DIED. He remembers what his daughter said last night and thinks "Ok umm this could all just be a coincidence" and he thinks nothing of it.
A month later and the daughter is doing the prayers again. "God bless mom, God bless dad, and goodbye grandma."
Once again, the dad learns the next morning, that the grandma has died from a heart attack. Now he's a little freaked out and thinks "This definitely cannot be a coincidence now, but it still could be, so whatever."
A few weeks later, he hears from his daughter's room, again, "God bless mom, and goodbye dad." Now he is totally freaking out because he thinks he's gonna die today. He spends all day being really cautious so he, you know, doesn't die. At 12:00am, he thinks "Yes! I made it! I didn't die!"
Once he gets home from work, he goes over and he tells his wife, "Honey, I've had a really bad day today and-"
The wife cuts in and says, "Yea me too! The mailman died on our porch!"
~this is my first post so ╮(─▽─)╭ ~
It wasn’t tired
So it can reach it's head.
He slept extra, to rest really well.
You have to wait until it's full groan.
The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks, "Do you like potato pancakes?"
"No," comes the answer and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket.
"Do you have a brother?"
"No."
After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card, "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"
Without missing a beat I responded, "because you're heating for two now."
I then proceeded to laugh at my own joke. I feel like I'm prepared for my future as a dad.
I've gone back to calling it James
I said "It's growing on me."
Because it’s head is so far away from it’s body.
Because their head is so far from their body
because their head is really far away from their body
Because he spends years at C!
Because he spends years at C!
