If your parachute fails while sky diving, itβs okay...
...you have the rest of your life to fix it.
π︎ 30
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︎ Feb 12 2021
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
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︎ Oct 09 2020
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
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︎ Feb 13 2021
1986, The Chernobyl reactor exploded, releasing a bright, radioactive beam into the sky. People in towns away stared at it in awe.
They must've thought that it was pretty rad
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 15 2021
The sky looked a bit foreboding this morning, so I asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?" Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley."
I must have left my phone in Airplane mode.
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Honey, you are the sun that lights my sky.
I'm glad you're there, but god I hate looking at you.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Sky diving is the scariest thing I've ever, ever.....
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.
There just happens to be more birds on that side.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 21 2020
As I lay in bed, looking up at the many thousands of stars in the night sky, I think to myself...
WHAT IN THE HECK HAPPENED TO MY ROOF?
π︎ 4k
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︎ Dec 26 2019
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Somewhere in the skies, Otto is smilingβ¦
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︎ Dec 10 2019
Red sky at night, shepherd's delight.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Riding the sky
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 22 2020
Why shouldn't blind people sky dive??
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︎ Feb 24 2020
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 22 2020
I see Sky News saying this whole Boris Johnson thing is unpresidented...
donβt they mean unprimeministered ?
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 07 2020
I couldnβt figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
π︎ 34
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︎ Jun 23 2020
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 27 2020
2 cowboys were riding along and one saw a tree with bacon dangling from the branches. One called out saying "Look a Bacon Tree!" As they went closer to have a look they were confronted with a sky full of arrows. The other cowboy yelled:
This is no Bacon Tree, this is a Ham Bush.
π︎ 336
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︎ Dec 26 2019
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
π︎ 6
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︎ May 19 2020
Why do you say when you spot a flying Jedi in the sky ?
π︎ 9
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︎ May 08 2020
Why is a rock that fell from the sky more delicious than one you find on the ground?
π︎ 12
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︎ Apr 17 2020
My dogs started playing βLucy in the Sky with Diamondsβ
Shouldβve known since they are the Beagles..
π︎ 13
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︎ Mar 01 2020
At least he gets a good view of the sky...
π︎ 13
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︎ Oct 12 2019
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
Edit: Sorry if the joke is terrible, I just made it up.
π︎ 4k
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︎ Nov 26 2017
You know, sometimes, as I lie in bed, looking up into the great night sky, counting each star and watching the moon slowly float by, I think to myself:
"Where the fuck is my roof?"
π︎ 18
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︎ Feb 13 2020
Friend: "I created the brightest star in the night sky."
Me: "You can't possibly B Sirius."
π︎ 11
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︎ Feb 12 2020
Why do blind people hate sky diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
π︎ 128
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︎ Aug 26 2019
What holds the sun up in the sky?
π︎ 14
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︎ Dec 21 2019
A woman and a man were talking when suddenly a bird appeared from the sky
The bird looked them straight in the eyes and cawed four times.
The man and woman were very confused until the bird said.
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 24 2019
When does Sky News go live?
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 09 2019
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 12 2019
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
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︎ Sep 16 2019
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
π︎ 72
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︎ Mar 01 2019
If someone falls out of the sky, and lands on a church...
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 16 2019
i threw some peas into the sky
π︎ 24
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︎ Jun 05 2019
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
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︎ Jun 27 2019
Dad: Be careful standing near those trees. Me: Why? The sky is clear, there's no chance of lightning.
Dad: I don't know really, they just look kind of shady to me.
π︎ 24
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︎ Jun 26 2019
When I was growing up, my dad always used to tell me, βThe Skyβs the Limit!β
He was never supportive of my dreams of becoming an astronaut.
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︎ Apr 21 2019
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
βWow!β I say. βItβs climate change!β
π︎ 53
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︎ Oct 19 2018
Man, the sky looks so PLANE.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 31 2019
Robots in the skies.
π︎ 45
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︎ Feb 01 2018
Damn christ is high up in the sky!
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 23 2019
My dad always used to say, "The sky's the limit!"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
π︎ 6k
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︎ Oct 18 2017
Red sky at night: shepherdβs delight. Blue sky at night:
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 25 2019
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