I call him Dr. Awkward.
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
His repair-toire
Thatβs a pro sparrow on your fleecy dad. Looking forward to a happy 2021!
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision
It was a Spanish ink-wiz-isition.
Can you LEGO an egg Gogh?
BroccLee
Talon shows
I still donβt get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
When my wife came home yesterday afternoon to find the kitchen and living room a mess, the laundry still in a pile by the washer and me on the couch having done nothing but eat chips and watch TV all afternoon.
She shook her finger at me, "You better watch this lazy attitude you've had lately, mister, or you're gonna to make me do something I'll regret!"
"Wow," I thought, "I can't believe I'm going to get a bj out of this."
He really keeps me on my toes.
She said our relationship wasn't going anywhere
Edit : She just packed her bag and right
Do you think Sir Lancelot was good at jousting? Or just really liked it.
Tenfold
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since
I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
The grape. He was the only one who went raisin.
It's called - Hairy Potter.
Me grammar sucks and i is imaginary.
A share riff.
He is a great Sensei, but he's not very skilled at the marital arts.
But I find it to be a pretty handy skill
I told my wife I was building a car out of spaghetti. She told me to stop being stupid. You should've seen her face as I drove pasta!
He doesn't have fine motor skills
Snore patrol
It's catching.
That's just mean.
Horning
They knead it
That is, at least not long enough to learn any of the many, many important things a frog needs to learn in order to be a frog.
You see, a frog needs to be super slick in order to get by. A frog without proper skills, well, he may as well be a toad.
Anyways, every time Mama Frog went about trying to teach Little Hop something, he would just bounce.. and bounce.. and bounce..
And every time Mama Frog had reached her limit of patience, right before giving up, sheβd say to Little Hop, βIf you keep on keepinβ on hoppin around all aimless, Iβm gonna turn you into a toad!β
Which, upon hearing, Little Hop would stop his hop and settle. You see, he knew well enough that he wanted no part of being a toad.
Well, on one particular day, during one such lesson, Little Hop had taken again to bouncing here, and bouncing there - and just about everywhere besides a place he could listen! And on this same particular day, Mama Frogβs patience was worn real, real, thin, you see, and she got sudden filled with a terrible frustration.
And just like a firecracker went off, in a sudden snap, Mama Frog turned Little Hop straight into a toad!
And when it was done, Mama Frog looked at him direct, shook her head, and said..
βI toad you so.β
I mean, screw that noise.
His budgie-ting skills were horrible!
I'm a military vet!
I was driving people bananas.
I really need to hone them.
http://imgur.com/p8zGyin
Nevermind, that was raw. Let me cook something else up.
It was A Major task but I can only C Minor improvement.
It's called "Hairy Potter".
I still donβt get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
She said βurinateβ
Really don't understand why he told me to urinate on a skeleton.
