My wife said we should get the siding replaced.
I said we should do the front since that's the part everyone actually sees.
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 04 2020
Today my real estate agent showed me a house that had mirrors as siding
I could really see myself in it
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 07 2020
The crew began removing/replacing our siding this morning
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 24 2019
Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, βok sir, and which side?β
I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose Iβll take the right side.
Cashier: βsir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.β
π︎ 334
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︎ Jan 08 2021
My friend had the left side of his body ripped off in an accident.
But the doctor said heβll be all right.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?
So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
On which side does a tiger have the most stripes?
π︎ 41
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
When geese fly in a V, why is one side of th V always longer than the other side?
There's more geese on that side.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 12 2021
What's the furriest side of a dog?
π︎ 81
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︎ Jan 08 2021
I was playing a zombie game last night, and sliced off the left side of a zombie
It scared my wife pretty bad.
I assured her heβs all right.
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
π︎ 29
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︎ Dec 13 2020
When migrating birds fly in the shape of a V, do you know why one side is always longer than the other?
That side has more birds.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
On which side does the sheep have most wool?
π︎ 45
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︎ Dec 22 2020
I ran out of gas on the side of the road. Along comes a swarm of bees.
I was confused, but they seemed friendly. I told them what was going on, and they said: open the gas cap. One by one, each bee flew into the tank, and to my astonishment the gas gage went from empty to full. The bees said: start the car. So, I did and it ran. I asked them: what did you put in the tank? Bee pee.
π︎ 15
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︎ Dec 13 2020
How does a duck swim from one side of the pond to the other?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 19 2021
The punny side of r/antimeme
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Aug 24 2020
My wife told me to be more in touch with with my feminine side....
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key
Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit
π︎ 12k
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︎ Jan 12 2021
When flying in V formation one side's often longer than the other. Do you know why that is?
That side has more birds on it
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
My vaccine dad joke failed
π︎ 11k
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︎ Jan 02 2021
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog shit on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one:
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Did you guys hear about the guy that had the whole left side of his body amputated?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
This guy was driving on the left side of the road
He just didn't choose the right thing
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Which side of the chicken has more feathers?
π︎ 40
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Norway just made the decision to put QR codes on the side of all its war ships.
Now they can Scandinavian!
π︎ 5k
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︎ Jul 17 2020
They just donβt taste right!
π︎ 9k
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︎ Nov 27 2020
I cut my birthday cake in half and ate both sides.
I wanted to halve my cake and eat it too.
π︎ 129
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︎ Oct 21 2020
What happened to the guy whose left side was cut off?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
What did the police officer say when she caught a man peeing on the side of a building?
Urine big trouble mister!
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.
It's an equal Adderall triangle.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
All jokes a side
π︎ 27
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Written on the side of a hearse in front of a hair salon...
Will Curl Up And Dye For You
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
I was supposed to park on the east side of the lot...
...but I occidentally parked on the west
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 25 2020
All of Norway's battleships have huge bar-codes printed on the side...
and when the ship comes to dock they Scandinavian.
π︎ 70
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
What do you call the side of a triangle in the savanna?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Why does Norway and Swedenβs navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So the can scandinavian
Canβt take credit for this one. A client of mine told me this.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
Why does Norway have bar codes on the sides of their military ships?
It's so when they all come to port they can Scandinavian.
π︎ 68
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︎ Sep 23 2020
So the other day I ordered some Kung Pao chicken, but I think it came with a side of pasta instead of rice
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 09 2020
When geese are migrating they form a "V" shape, but do you know why one side is always longer than the other?
Because there are more geese on that side.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
When ducks fly in a V one side is always longer. Do you know the reason?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
Why is one side longer then the other when ducks fly in a V?
Because thereβs more ducks on that side
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
When geese fly in a V formation, one side is always longer than the other. Do you know why that is?
There are more birds on that side.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Why does the Norway Navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
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