Shi'a Puns

A pair of long trunks.

Shoe-shi

A Sous-shi chef

Shi Tou Yong

Because its either sunni or shi'ite

On my first day of being an army recruit, we were all lined up and the instructor commanded that those 6 feet and over step forward. Even though I was shy of ½inch, I stepped forward, along with 15 others.

. After I looked around me, I realized I was noticeably the tallest.

I think he has gotten a little pun-shy.

They were a little shy for my liking

We played some Mario together

And while I was working a nice old lady came to my til. I scanned through all her items and it came to £56.83, but after counting up all her change she had just shy of £40.

So I offered to help her, to which she refused but I eagerly insisted. I thought this is probably someone’s Nan, and I’d like to think someone would help my Nan in the same situation.

So after no time at all, we had all her shopping back on the shelves!

It's Shy Grainery

My fish first pop out to say hello, but then quickly retreat to cover. Then they'll tease like they're coming out again, but then they'll shy away.

What makes them act so coy!?

It was a Shi-Tzu.

When you start to get Sikh of his Shi'ite

Shoe-shi

Boysters. What do you call bodybuilding oysters?

Hoisters. What do you call oyster pirates?

Ahoysters. What do you call oyster nuns?

Cloisters. What do you call oysters that live under water?

Moisters. What do you call shy oysters?

Coysters. What do you call working class oysters?

Employsters. What do you call oysters with an evil plan?

Ploysters. What do you call singing oysters?

Voiceters.

I should stop before this gets worseter.

I took them up on it because earlier in the season I went for a pretty nice slide. It's like that old saying. Once skidding ice shy.

But Julius is too shy to talk to her

I had a great date with my girlfriend, and we're leaving the house right as Dad pulls into the driveway. We just got a new puppy, and I was explaining to him that the puppy wasn't even shy around her. His response?

"Hey, neither were you, eh?"

She thought it was cute. I almost died.

A shy milkbottle

I'll never forget when I was riding shotgun while my dad drove, and we were taking my friend Joe home. We had driven these streets hundreds of times, but at this moment, my dad released all these heretofore unheard-of puns.

We took a right on Cambridge Ave.

Dad looks over and stoically says in a gravelly voice with an -- American Indian?? -- accent, "First came iron horse… then came bridge."

Groans.

As we approach Minot Ln., he asks "do I turn here?" and Joe says "yes," to which dad replies "I don't know, Joe, I might, but I minot!"

Groans.

Finally, we make our last turn onto Cheyenne. Dad says with a deliberate, measured cadence, "You know, growing up, all the girls I met were so forward. It was weird. But then I met Shy Anne."

He finished his sentence right as we pulled into Joe's driveway. He put his right hand on the back of my headrest and turned to face us with a wide smile and the glittering, eyes of a puppy that just fetched on command.

Joe said "Thanks, Mr. Smith," and he got out and ran into his house.

My dad is going to have a colonoscopy in the morning. I told her the news, then followed with...

"I sure hope my dad doesn't make an ass of himself tomorrow." She gives me a courtesy smile. So I try another...

"If he has any questions, I don't think he'll feel too shy to assssk." Nothing.

Then she says, "I hope the doctor has a good rebuttal for all these terrible jokes."

Boom. Roasted.

Dad: Do we get the student discount? Harkins-Girl: Well, it's a matinee so it's the same price Dad: 'Cause we're from the school of hard knocks

To give you a better picture of my dad, he's 54 and owns his own accounting practice/ is his sole employee. To others he comes across as shy, but I know better. The alone time with the numbers helps his "Dadness" ferment until it bubbles (like this experience) or otherwise explodes.

I instantly face palmed. My dad was still laughing at himself 20 minutes after we got out of the movie.

I work in a kitchen and I had just pulled a freshly baked lasagna out of the oven when my coworker walks by:

Coworker: Did that lasagna just come out?

Me: Yes it did and it's a little shy around other lasagnas at the moment but if you give it some time I'm sure it will gain the confidence it needs.

I had a smirk on for at least the next hour after that.

Walking past a stall at the fair, points to the coconut shy and said

"I know a guy that won't go to them"

Said "What because he was shy?"

"No he had no confidence"

Groans.