Shaykh Puns

It's narrated by Abu Hurayrah that The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “Be prompt in doing good deeds (before you are overtaken) by turbulence which would be like a part of the dark night. During (that stormy period) a man would be a Believer in the morning and an unbeliever in the evening or he would be a Believer in the evening and an unbeliever in the morning, and would sell his faith for worldly goods.” [Saheeh Muslim (169)].

This man became my teacher when I was 21. I studied with him Tarbiyyah, Fiqh, Adab, and was a general mentor for about 6-7 years. He was renowned among 'ulama as being a brilliant man and one of the foremost experts in the science of Kalaam in the West. It was because of him I enrolled into madrasah and eventually gained ijaza in the portion of the curriculum I completed.

He was a troubled man though. He was a white convert who struggled with good Islamic identity versus is very rural American upbringing. He had a problematic family life and struggled with raising his kids. Through all these difficulties he still managed to spread profound knowledge and have many students. He, however, eventually dropped the "Shaykh" moniker due to his struggles and moved to be closer to his aging parents. During this time, and slightly before, multiple other significant events took place that shook him and his students, including divorcing his wife who was no saint herself.

I eventually lost touch with him as I began to develop criticisms on how he handled himself with his students on some occasions. I understand the complexities of man, that we are a mix of good and bad. I appreciated the good that came from him and took the bad as lessons to mature and grow. I moved on with my life.

Some other students remained in touch and through them I learned that this man who was formerly considered an 'alim left Islam. He told a friend of mine that Islam is the most truthful religion, but it isn't the absolute truth. To add salt on this wound, he also came out as gay and is now currently in a civil union with a man.

I say share all this as a means of processing for myself and a reminder for us all that we are not a Deen of personalities except for one, our Prophet Muhammad صل الله عليه و سلم, the Most Beloved to Allah The Most Exalted and Most Supreme. Our faith is a blessing and a trust from Allah. We should cherish and nourish it. We are never safe from potentially losing it regardless of how much 'ilm we attain. Islam is not simply kno

This is an important time in the development of our children. NOTE: These aren't meant for us to lecture at our kids all at once. These are bite size points that we relay a little bit at a time over breakfast, lounging on the couch, whispering at bedtime, driving in the car, as these questions start to rise.

1. This is the time to introduce the role of men and women in family and society. Explain that God created humanity and placed a natural design in it, that families would be based around a man and woman joining in marriage and having children. This is not dirty, or wrong, but is the way Allah created Adam and Hawa, as well as Mama and Baba. We also have a beautiful example in the story of the Prophet (s) and Khadija (ra). (One should tell the story of their proposal and acceptance to one’s children early on.)

2. As kids grow, they may feel funny thoughts of liking the opposite gender or having a crush, or even being curious about someone. That is OK. What is important is that we are always respectful to everyone.

3. Allah in His Mercy and Wisdom revealed a clear way of life to us that helps organize our lives, our families, and our society. We don't have boyfriends and girlfriends, and we don't do these things that other people might do. In fact, even THEY did not do these things until very recently. We believe in marriage as the way that a man and woman express love and all of these feelings - which is something that happens when you are a grown up.

4. Marriage isn't just about liking someone, thinking they are cool, or pretty. Marriage is when you find someone who has the same goals as we do: To have a friend, supporter, helper, ally, and Companion as we travel through this temporary world on our way to Jannah. Someone who will raise a family with us, providing a loving environment, be with us through both hard and fun times, and raise children who will believe in Allah and His Messenger. Our end goal is not having big houses and nice cars, but to walk into Jannah as a family behind the Prophet (s). We learn to sacrifice and work hard to build a home together that can do this. Marriage is a lot of work and you see Mama and Baba work so hard all the time to take care of you, each other, each others' parents, and so many other things.

5. Marriage isn't just about liking someone, it's about two people and their families coming together for the sake of Allah in the way taught by His Messenger. That means that many of their problems, concerns, worri

I should be more precise. The way I use the term neo-traditionalism is different from how it is used by academics. Instead of neo-traditionalism, let's call it 'Sidi-culture.'

On the spot, I would define Sidi-culture as:

The selective embrace of the classical Islamic tradition, with a tendency towards aesthetics and form over substance.

In fiqh it appears as an embrace of the four madhabs, mostly in ritual worship and little to none in transactions or statecraft; [it is often] read through the lens of modern first world sensibilities, with some embracing 'The Fiqh of Minorities' and reverse engineering Maqasid al-Shari'a to arrive at views which are conveniently palatable to the modern world.

In 'aqida it appears as an embrace of the Ash'ari and Maturidi schools, but with a very simplistic understanding of how it makes them different from Salafis.

In Tasawwuf, it appears as a credulity and acceptance of anyone ascribed to Tasawwuf (with preferences of course), coupled with an unhealthy understanding (often unrestricted) and application of Husn al-dhann (having a good opinion of others), and preference for form over substance.

More broadly, it is an abandonment of any sensitivity towards violations of theological boundaries, the pathologizing of righteous anger for Allah's sake, and the watering down if not out right denial of al-Wala' wa al-Bara'.

It is religion as a consumer product, to be bought at expensive trips.

It is culturally elitist.

I’m not sure what needs to be asked, but I know I need to ask. Forgive me if I ramble, I’m a little tired.

Convert of 4 years, I’m increasingly aware of my need for tazkiya and a more inwardly focused shift to my Islam. This aspect of the religion has escaped me since my shahada and I see the results of this neglect in myself daily.

In other fields of religious knowledge I’ve become convinced of my need for a teacher, and I’ve done my best to simulate that experience through paying for recorded classes and WhatsApp access to the teachers to ask questions in post.

I’m really coming in blind to all of this. Brother /u/alhabibiyyah linked me to a YouTube series on tazkiya that I‘ve not yet had the opportunity to start, but how can a man benefit best without a physical spiritual guide who has wisdom and knows me?

I have reaped great value from the master/student relationship in both secular contexts and in the context of my former religion, but I’m not sure where I would even begin to discern between tariqas or find an orthodox, reliable shaykh. I prefer the Maliki madhhab but I would change and follow anyone as long as he’s upon traditional Sunni Islam and righteous.

I live in Jakarta, but I don’t speak the language proficiently and I constantly see and hear about abuses and innovations. Guys who take the money out of people’s pockets to heal their sick children, guys who say you can get so good at dhikr that you don’t have to pray anymore. Stuff like that.

Any of the older/more experienced brothers have some guidance for me?

It's narrated by Abu Hurayrah that The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “Be prompt in doing good deeds (before you are overtaken) by turbulence which would be like a part of the dark night. During (that stormy period) a man would be a Believer in the morning and an unbeliever in the evening or he would be a Believer in the evening and an unbeliever in the morning, and would sell his faith for worldly goods.” [Saheeh Muslim (169)].

This man became my teacher when I was 21. I studied with him Tarbiyyah, Fiqh, Adab, and was a general mentor for about 6-7 years. He was renowned among 'ulama as being a brilliant man and one of the foremost experts in the science of Kalaam in the West. It was because of him I enrolled into madrasah and eventually gained ijaza in the portion of the curriculum I completed.

He was a troubled man though. He was a white convert who struggled with good Islamic identity versus is very rural American upbringing. He had a problematic family life and struggled with raising his kids. Through all these difficulties he still managed to spread profound knowledge and have many students. He, however, eventually dropped the "Shaykh" moniker due to his struggles and moved to be closer to his aging parents. During this time, and slightly before, multiple other significant events took place that shook him and his students, including divorcing his wife who was no saint herself.

I eventually lost touch with him as I began to develop criticisms on how he handled himself with his students on some occasions. I understand the complexities of man, that we are a mix of good and bad. I appreciated the good that came from him and took the bad as lessons to mature and grow. I moved on with my life.

Some other students remained in touch and through them I learned that this man who was formerly considered an 'alim left Islam. He told a friend of mine that Islam is the most truthful religion, but it isn't the absolute truth. To add salt on this wound, he also came out as gay and is now currently in a civil union with a man.

I say share all this as a means of processing for myself and a reminder for us all that we are not a Deen of personalities except for one, our Prophet Muhammad صل الله عليه و سلم, the Most Beloved to Allah The Most Exalted and Most Supreme. Our faith is a blessing and a trust from Allah. We should cherish and nourish it. We are never safe from potentially losing it regardless of how much 'ilm we attain. Islam is not simply kno