I was thinking about starting a cannabis lounge that serves prime cuts of beef

But the steaks were too high

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
The barman says, β€œSorry, we don’t serve faster-than-light particles in here.”

A faster-than-light particle walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 275
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snrckrd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What di they serve at the cannibal school?

Stewdents

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Raaxen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gases"

He doesn't react.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wellimnotdeadyet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, β€œGet out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.

The bartender says, β€œHey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”

The rope replied, β€œNo. I’m a frayed knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate eating at restaurants that serve rabbit...

I always end up with a hare in my food...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_bradley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t they serve communion wafers at the wedding reception?

It was a no host bar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sparklingbeatnik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We don't serve your kind here!"

The mushroom replies, "Why not?! I'm a fun guy!" He then goes on to say "The name's Gus, and all my friends call me Fun Gus"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WolvieBS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."

A time traveller walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 840
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The bartender says, "we don't serve time travelers here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A Bavarian guy walks into a restaurant that only serves seed-based foods...

...and you know what, the germinate!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePetPsychic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Sushi chef refuse to serve the musician?

Cause he was outta tuna.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rpdaca
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Docs here to serve
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AsefDian
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
You need to serve justice cold

because if you serve it warm it would be justwater

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dog_food1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a servant that only serves steak?

A filet minion

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slagsy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I found a restaurant that serves curry poured over french fries. It’s called...

Curry On My Wayward Spud. And yes... There’ll be Peas When You Are Done.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chef serve eggs Benedict on a hubcap?

Because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t McDonalds serve ribeye?

Because that would be a McSteak

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MynameisMatlock
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Just don't serve it warm
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/albanianbitchee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What country serves the oiliest food?

Greece

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theholysat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why wouldn’t the barman serve Shakespeare?

Because he was bard

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PositiveCunt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
For Christmas morning, I'm going to make Eggs Benedict, and I'm going to serve them on hubcaps from a 1962 Ford...

...because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.

πŸ‘︎ 230
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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
what do you call a restaurant that serves crap burgers??

...wacdonalds

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Serve up some Dad Jokes at your Father's Day BBQ

Make 'em eat Pop-Corn

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jwinsome
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you serve a cannibal?

First, you have to ask the other cannibal how he would like him cooked.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DaffynitionMaker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A string goes into a bar. He asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says β€œwe don’t serve string here.

So the string goes outside and waits for a while. He goes back in and sets at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says β€œwe don’t serve string here. So, frustrated the string goes back outside and sits n the curb. Boom, he gets run over and tumbles and starts to come apart.
He goes back into the same bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks closely at him and says β€œhey aren’t you that piece of string that was just in here?” The string looks him in the eye and says β€œnope, I’m a frayed knot!”

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfntx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I've got an idea for a Morrocan restaurant. It's gonna serve traditional food but cooked in non traditional, anti-authoritarian ways....

...I'm gonna call it 'Rage Against The Tajine'

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mish106
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm gonna serve my kids Eggs Benedict on plates made from hub caps this up coming Christmas. Why?

There's no Plate like Chrome for the Hollandaise.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're taken to prison and serve a short sentence

It becomes a word

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/p_tally
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Wesley serve you a steak dip sandwich?

Au jus wish.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
One day, a fourteen-year-old weasel walked into a local pub. The bartender took one look at him and says, β€œYou are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.”

The weasel asks, β€œWhat can I have?” The bartender replies, β€œI have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
β€œPop!” goes the weasel..

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lavacadotoast
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t care for the bread they serve at the local Indian restaurant.

But it’s really a naan issue.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Indoorsman101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œChelsea’s Pizza” I said, reading a sign as we walked. My son replied β€œDid you say Elsa’s Pizza?” Realizing the opportunity I said β€œNo, but what kind of pizza would they serve at Elsa’s Pizza?

β€œFrozen pizza” said my son, rolling his eyes.

β€œExactly, my son. Frozen pizza.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jamikula
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
True house cleaners aren't just born to serve

They're maid to serve.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAverageAlpha
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we don’t serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if he’s a rope!

Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FalseBlood8746
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we dont serve food here".
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The bartender says "Sorry we don't serve time travelers"

Two time travelers walk into a bar

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The bartender says, β€œwe don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AinSpaceXXX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The bartender says "We don't serve you people here."

Two time-travellers walk into a bar

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mmangaboi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The bartender says, β€œWe don’t serve time travelers here.”

Two men from the future walk into a bar

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report
The barkeep says, β€œSorry, we don’t serve time-travelers here”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 543
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RaptorDesign
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gasses here!" Argon doesn't react
πŸ‘︎ 272
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slumberingtitan
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Sorry sir, we don't serve time travelers here

A time traveler walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report

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