I was thinking about starting a cannabis lounge that serves prime cuts of beef
But the steaks were too high
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
The barman says, βSorry, we donβt serve faster-than-light particles in here.β
A faster-than-light particle walks into a bar.
π︎ 275
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
What di they serve at the cannibal school?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gases"
π︎ 26
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, βGet out. We donβt serve rope in here.β So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, βHey! Arenβt you the rope that I just threw out?β
The rope replied, βNo. Iβm a frayed knot.β
π︎ 12k
π
︎ May 27 2020
I hate eating at restaurants that serve rabbit...
I always end up with a hare in my food...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
Why couldnβt they serve communion wafers at the wedding reception?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We don't serve your kind here!"
The mushroom replies, "Why not?! I'm a fun guy!"
He then goes on to say "The name's Gus, and all my friends call me Fun Gus"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
π︎ 840
π
︎ May 13 2020
The bartender says, "we don't serve time travelers here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
π︎ 110
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
A Bavarian guy walks into a restaurant that only serves seed-based foods...
...and you know what, the germinate!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
Why did the Sushi chef refuse to serve the musician?
π︎ 44
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
Docs here to serve
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jul 05 2020
You need to serve justice cold
because if you serve it warm it would be justwater
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
What do you call a servant that only serves steak?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
I found a restaurant that serves curry poured over french fries. Itβs called...
Curry On My Wayward Spud. And yes... Thereβll be Peas When You Are Done.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
Why did the chef serve eggs Benedict on a hubcap?
Because thereβs no plate like chrome for the hollandaise
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 09 2020
Why doesnβt McDonalds serve ribeye?
Because that would be a McSteak
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
Just don't serve it warm
π︎ 30
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
What country serves the oiliest food?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
Why wouldnβt the barman serve Shakespeare?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
For Christmas morning, I'm going to make Eggs Benedict, and I'm going to serve them on hubcaps from a 1962 Ford...
...because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.
π︎ 230
π
︎ Dec 22 2019
what do you call a restaurant that serves crap burgers??
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 28 2020
Serve up some Dad Jokes at your Father's Day BBQ
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 21 2020
How do you serve a cannibal?
First, you have to ask the other cannibal how he would like him cooked.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
A string goes into a bar. He asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says βwe donβt serve string here.
So the string goes outside and waits for a while. He goes back in and sets at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says βwe donβt serve string here.
So, frustrated the string goes back outside and sits n the curb. Boom, he gets run over and tumbles and starts to come apart.
He goes back into the same bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks closely at him and says βhey arenβt you that piece of string that was just in here?β
The string looks him in the eye and says βnope, Iβm a frayed knot!β
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 12 2019
I've got an idea for a Morrocan restaurant. It's gonna serve traditional food but cooked in non traditional, anti-authoritarian ways....
...I'm gonna call it 'Rage Against The Tajine'
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 21 2019
I'm gonna serve my kids Eggs Benedict on plates made from hub caps this up coming Christmas. Why?
There's no Plate like Chrome for the Hollandaise.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
If you're taken to prison and serve a short sentence
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 06 2020
How does Wesley serve you a steak dip sandwich?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 13 2019
One day, a fourteen-year-old weasel walked into a local pub. The bartender took one look at him and says, βYou are under-aged. I canβt serve you beer.β
The weasel asks, βWhat can I have?β
The bartender replies, βI have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.β
βPop!β goes the weasel..
π︎ 44
π
︎ Aug 26 2019
I donβt care for the bread they serve at the local Indian restaurant.
But itβs really a naan issue.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 30 2020
βChelseaβs Pizzaβ I said, reading a sign as we walked. My son replied βDid you say Elsaβs Pizza?β Realizing the opportunity I said βNo, but what kind of pizza would they serve at Elsaβs Pizza?
βFrozen pizzaβ said my son, rolling his eyes.
βExactly, my son. Frozen pizza.β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 13 2019
True house cleaners aren't just born to serve
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 23 2019
Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we donβt serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if heβs a rope!
Rope replies Iβm a frayed knot.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we dont serve food here".
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
The bartender says "Sorry we don't serve time travelers"
Two time travelers walk into a bar
π︎ 98
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
The bartender says, βwe donβt serve time travelers in here!β
A time traveler walks into a bar.
π︎ 78
π
︎ Apr 05 2020
The bartender says "We don't serve you people here."
Two time-travellers walk into a bar
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
The bartender says, βWe donβt serve time travelers here.β
Two men from the future walk into a bar
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Feb 08 2018
The barkeep says, βSorry, we donβt serve time-travelers hereβ
A time traveler walks into a bar.
π︎ 543
π
︎ Dec 28 2018
Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gasses here!" Argon doesn't react
π︎ 272
π
︎ May 30 2019
Sorry sir, we don't serve time travelers here
A time traveler walks into a bar.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 25 2020
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