A lightly seasoned pun
Me: Just added more watersoftener salt and now my mouth tastes salty....I guess you can say the salt aSALTed me.
Friend 1: facepalm
Me: Don't be so salty about this, it was only a lightly salted joke
Friend 2: The humor, it needs more seasoning!
Me: I'll give it more thyme to sink in.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 14 2014
How does a cop season their food?
With assault and pepper spray!
π︎ 17
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
How does a military fanatic season their food?
With a salt rifle and pepper spray.
π︎ 56
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
Delta airlines have stopped using seasoning on board their aircrafts.
They only serve plane food.
π︎ 100
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
I quit my job as a taste tester at the herbal seasonings factory...
... I found the work too Thyme consuming.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 21 2020
Ahh.. nothing like the passing of the four seasons here in lovely Ireland
Easily my favorite day of the year.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
What is a copβs favorite seasoning?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
For the upcoming NFL season, players will not be allowed to keep chicken as pets.
That would be considered a personal fowl.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars...
... And came home to us a seasoned Veteran.
Edit : To use a war pun.. " Wow, this really blew up " ...Thanks to all for contributing to this bit of fun. I feel like Granddad now with all the medals.
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Jun 29 2020
Whatβs the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls?
π︎ 654
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
I bought the best ever seasoning for my mutton.
Itβs the Greatest Of All Thyme
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
My wife always yells at me for not knowing how to properly season my food, but I donβt mind.
I take it with a pinch of sugar.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Sep 07 2019
Have you seen season three of the Avatar?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
Iβm trying to learn the alphabet but I canβt get past X
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Apr 19 2020
Nobody's heard from the Zamboni drivers since the NHL cancelled their season.
I'm sure they'll resurface at some point.
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 11 2020
I'm so happy its tick season soon...
I enjoy a little Lyme with my Corona
π︎ 58
π
︎ Mar 29 2020
I really hope this whole COVID-19 thing gets cleared up before tick season
Because then weβd have corona with Lyme
π︎ 67
π
︎ Mar 12 2020
My brother-in-law taught his offspring a seasoning that is an excellent addition to omelets and egg strata...
It was good father-son-thyme.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 26 2020
It's campfire season....
π︎ 842
π
︎ Jun 09 2019
βTis the season!
π︎ 36
π
︎ Nov 16 2019
Seasons Greetings
π︎ 62
π
︎ Dec 26 2019
A placebo seasoning for meat
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jan 21 2020
I was going to take a hike in the woods today but realized tick season is starting
and I like my Corona without Lyme.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 18 2020
It's soon autumn - you can tell, because summer leaves
... I'll be here all seasons...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Seasons greetings!
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
Have you ever tried eating a clock?
Itβs really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jan 31 2020
The NBA has suspended the season...
It would be a little hard to play with everyone getting penalties, since people with corona-virus love to travel
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 12 2020
'Tis the season
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 15 2019
Itβs Christmas movie season
π︎ 33
π
︎ Nov 21 2019
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
What does the rest of the NBA season have in common with the rest of the NHL season?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 13 2020
A seasonal appropriate cake for my 2nd cake day!!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
What is the lake's favorite season?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
With the COVID virus going around the NHL season is on ice.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 12 2020
ββTis the season!β
π︎ 26
π
︎ Dec 07 2019
Animals should be treated kindness, respect and....
... a little bit of salt.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
Words I hate this season.
Apps,teen,didβnt,kill,hymns,elf
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 11 2019
What does a nosy pepper do?
π︎ 30
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
US election season meats the holiday season
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 24 2019
Four men are sitting in a hospital waiting room because their wives are all giving birth,
A nurse comes up to the first man and says, βCongratulations! You are the proud father of a pair of twins!β
βThatβs funny...β the man said, βI work for Twin Peaks!β
Another nurse comes into the room and goes to the second man and says, βCongratulations! Your wife has just given birth to triplets!β
βThatβs funny...β the second man said, β I work for the 3M company!β
Yet another nurse comes into the room and says to the third man, βCongratulations! Your wife has just given birth to quadruplets!β
βThatβs so funny...β said the third man, βI work at the Four Seasons Hotel!β
The last man is groaning and whining in obvious agony, βWhatβs wrong?β the other men ask.
βI work at Seven Eleven.β He replied.
Happy Fathers Day!
π︎ 136
π
︎ Jun 21 2020
I was asked to prep the turkey, season the gravy and potatoes...
I don't think I have Thyme for all that!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 28 2019
It must be terrifying to have the last name Hall this season.
Everyone's out there trying to Deck the Halls.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Dec 15 2019
A Salt Rifle
π︎ 839
π
︎ Feb 01 2020
My gf wasnβt impressed when she asked me to leave the door ajar
π︎ 95
π
︎ Mar 21 2020
This Holiday season it seems like everyone is spending a lot of money and buying cars.
I keep hearing everyone say they are buying their kids a toy yoda.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 15 2019
Did you know Bono did the soundtrack for the new season of "You"?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 27 2019
In the Disney animated picture, Ratatouille, Remy controls Linguini actions by pulling his hair, giving him a perfect palette. The little chefβs squeak is the only other voice Linguini ever really hears at home.
I guess you could say Remy is Linguiniβs voice of season
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
A Jewish Dad really enjoys Christmas and the whole season
But then, he has a lot of gelt.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 18 2019
Whats the most dangerous season for elderly people?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 22 2019
What letter of the alphabet is banned during the Christmas Season?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 14 2019
Seasons greetings
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jul 19 2019
The Great Insect Pun Thread
Start praying man, βtis the season.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
Iβm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
π︎ 159
π
︎ Feb 20 2020
It's allergy season...
But I'm safe cos I have allerH's.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 26 2019
Whatβs Bruce Bufferβs favorite seasoning?
Iiiiiiiiitttttttβssssss THYME!!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 16 2019
What's the cutest season?
π︎ 181
π
︎ Dec 18 2018
FDA releases a new warning for black licorice this trick or treat season.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
Seasonal Water
π︎ 173
π
︎ Jun 27 2018
Why do gymnasts never season their food in the winter?
Because they only like summer salts.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jul 11 2019
My sister threw spices and seasonings at me while we were putting up groceries.
I guess you could say I got a-salted
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 14 2019
Fortnite Season 11 has been delayed
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 03 2019
My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office.
I am on season 6 so far, but not sure what it has got to do with security.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jun 12 2019
Why did Joyce from Stranger Things refuse to go on a date with Hopper in Season 3?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 22 2019
My favourite season
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 01 2019
Why weren't there multiple seasons of crucifixions?
People lost interest after the Pilate episode.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 19 2019
My wife said she thought the soup was under-seasoned
I took it with a pinch of salt
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 18 2019
In the spirit of the season, hereβs a meme I made years ago.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Dec 25 2018
[Satire] This be the season
π︎ 28
π
︎ Dec 10 2018
After all the final season backlash, how did D&D get off the Game of Thrones highway?
They took Daenerys exit..
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 20 2019
Itβs that season yβall...
π︎ 23
π
︎ Dec 05 2018
A seasonal groan!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 19 2018
Long time lurker, wanted to share a joke that will turn this subreddit upside down.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Mar 22 2019
'Tis the season
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 19 2018
What do you do when you're somewhere over the rainbow?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Dec 20 2019
What a pun-derful season!
π︎ 82
π
︎ Apr 25 2017
'Tis the season, yo
Daughter: Do we have any more wrapping paper?
Me: Nope, mom used the last of it. You'll have to use hip-hopping paper instead.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 22 2018
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 30 2019
You know what they say about seasons,
some are cool, and Summer warm.
π︎ 89
π
︎ Mar 20 2017
Why are Catholics the best runners during the Easter season?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 03 2019
Gordon Ramsay once survived a mustard-gas attack when he was in the army. Then, he got pepper-sprayed whilst at a protest.
You could say that he is relished among the cooking community, and truly a seasoned veteran
π︎ 31
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
What do you call beans that are seasoned with marijuana?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 14 2018
I went to an interview yesterday but didnt get the job. They said i wasnt seasoned enough ..
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 20 2018
I got a seasonal card from a poached egg, an English muffin and a slice of Canadian bacon.
It said: Happy Hollandaise!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 13 2018
Just some seasonal work
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 20 2018
My wife's been re-watching the TV show 'Medium'...
I asked her if she'd seen the hard-to-find special season they made towards the end of the show's run.
She gave me a puzzled and intrigued look and wanted to know more info on it.
I told her I believe that specific season is commonly called 'Medium Rare'.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 12 2020
My uncle has been working in a salt mine for years, you could say that he is a seasoned veteran now.
π︎ 80
π
︎ Jan 18 2018
I only give up my seat during tax season.
It's considered a chairitable donation.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 13 2019
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 26 2020
Hopefully this whole Corona virus thing doesnt last until tick season.
If it does, we will have Corona with Lyme.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Mar 13 2020
What do you call a soldier who has survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
π︎ 98
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran
π︎ 27
π
︎ Aug 22 2017
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
