I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
Martial law is not sustainable in the long term. It incurs large costs for the military who must stay permanently deployed into Pakistani cities rather than facing off against the Indian threat on the border and looks bad on the international stage where Pakistan's reputation has already been hurt. President Akbar Khan has the task of building a new political system that represents the genius of the Pakistani nation but does not allow the country to fall back into the political strife and discord that caused this crisis in the first place, that balances the interests of local communities with the stability of the national government and that can be used to grow the democratic consciousness of the nation over time so that it can eventually return to democracy when the current crisis is over.
After about a year of thinking President Akbar Khan has settled on something that he calls "Basic Democracies." It is a kind of representative democratic system of hierarchical administrative units where the directly elected representatives of lower level units will elect the members of higher level units. The administrative levels are divided, from highest to lowest:
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Provincial Development Advisory Councils. There will be one advisory council for each wing of Pakistan (East and West Pakistan). These councils have no administrative functions and will only coordinate between the divisional councils of each wing. They will have 45 members including the chairmen of the divisional councils and appointed members by the national government. These advisory councils are intended to serve as a stopgap until a new constitution with provincial assemblies can be created.
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Divisional Councils. There will be four divisional councils in East Bengal (Chittagong, Dacca, Khulna, and Rajshahi), five councils in West Punjab (Bahawalpur, Lahore, Multan, Rawalpindi and Sargodha), one council in Sindh, one council in Karachi, and one council in Balochistan. These councils will have a maximum of 45 members including the chairmen of the district councils and non-elected advisors and officials. The chairman of the divisional council is appointed by the President. The divisional council will perform mostly coordinative functions between the district councils under it.
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District Councils. There will be 106 district councils in Pakistan, with five in Karachi, forty in East Bengal, twenty four in Sindh, five in Balochistan and thirty two in West Punjab. The number of members will not exceed
Pilot on me!!
Christopher Walken
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me my jokes aren't stale
[Removed]
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
Where ever you left it π€·ββοΈπ€
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
Itβs pronounced βNoel.β
Why
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
