Saone Puns

Agravated at the natural barriers fencing them in and preventing them from expanding, the fearsome Helvetii burned their villages and set out on a 368,000 man march. They traveled through the fertile land of Gaul, taking food and hostages as they travelled. Caesar's friend Diviciacus of the Aedui came to him for aid, and Caesar, fearing that the Helvetii would pass through the Roman Province next, Caesar summoned 3 legions from Italy, and raised another 2. Caesar marched after the Helvetii. Internal struggles within his Gallic allies left him without their promised deliveries of grain to feed his armies, but still he hounded the Helvetii.

Unlike the Romans, who could erect bridges in hours to span the widest rivers, the Helvetii took almost a fortnight to cross. The made a chain of boats and rafts and swam their horses back and forth. On the last night of their crossing the main Helvetii army had marched on, leaving one tribe, the Tigurini, as the reargaurd on the east bank of the river.

Caesar attacked without warning at midnight, while the barbarians slept, with three entire legions. Cut off from the rest of their army, sleeping, and scattered, the large Tigurni tribe was quickly put to the sword.

Screenshots of the battle: http://imgur.com/a/1UOXT

Tout est dans le titre, j'ai juste envie de me rendre compte à quel point reddit est répendu en France, pas créer un reddit gathering je ne sais où :)

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken