A sailor walks into a thrift store after he lost a limb to a giant octopus
He said βI heard this is a second-hand shop, where they at?β
π︎ 30
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
What type of flowers do sailors give on Valentineβs Day?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
A sailor goes to a doctor
Doc, I've started getting bad zits all over my ass.
Yeah, you've got a sebum problem.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
Why did the sailor not buy the dvd?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
Thereβs a sailor who is always finding foolβs gold
We call him the iron pirate.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Why couldn't the sailor play cards?
The captain was standing on the deck!
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
What do you call a sailor who you donβt like?
π︎ 30
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
I met a pilot once who said he actually wanted to be a sailor.
He was in the wrong craft.
π︎ 254
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
What happens if you throw a Finnish sailor overboard?
π︎ 7k
π
︎ May 11 2019
3.14% of sailors.....
π︎ 37
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
A sailor wrote a book about how to win a womanβs heart
Itβs called βThe Art of Seaductionβ
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 22 2020
Why do sailors find it so difficult to learn the alphabet?
Because they often get lost at "C"!
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 07 2020
Why aren't sailors scared of COVID-19?
They're used to the perils of disease.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
Freddie Sailor Mercury
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Oct 30 2018
What did the American sailor say when he was brought on board the British ship?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
What is a sailor's favorite type of art?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 11 2020
The captain wanted all sailors of German descent to come out onto the top ship platform and line up...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
The new sailor, Leo, asked me where the ship's cook could be found.
I said, "He's in the Galley, Leo."
I swear, that guy struts around like all the planets revolve around him.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 14 2020
Why donβt sailors like buying new hats?
They are afraid of cap sizing.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
Why did the sailor wash the dishes in his boat?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 04 2020
Why do sailors eat shellsfish when rain is forecasted?
Its the clam before the storm
π︎ 40
π
︎ Jul 09 2019
Falling-down drunk sailors...
... are absolutely ship-faced!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
π︎ 30
π
︎ Aug 15 2019
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
Where did the sailor go after work?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
What happens to sailors put on trial?
They are judged by a jury of their piers.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 15 2019
Where do late sailors come from?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 21 2019
Sailor Loom
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jun 07 2019
Why can't you tickle a sailor?
Because they're nautical-ish
π︎ 290
π
︎ Jun 02 2018
doctor 1: this sailor broke his nose from crashing onto land.
doctor 1: Luckily they're just mariner injuries.
doctor 2: are you shore? they seem pretty bad to me.
doctor 1: nonsense, you can seafarer self.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 19 2019
People only trust high ranking navy sailors. for instance there's Captain Morgan rum, Captain crunch cereal.... You never see seamen crunch!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 16 2019
How did Viking sailors communicate?
π︎ 306
π
︎ Nov 05 2017
What did the Shanghaied sailor say to the bosun?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 20 2019
Where does an angry sailor go?
π︎ 56
π
︎ Jun 21 2019
What kind of boat do sailors learn their trade on?
π︎ 21
π
︎ May 14 2019
How do sailors like their women?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 15 2019
Why did the sailor go shopping?
Because they were having a sale!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 06 2019
What game do sailors love most?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 01 2019
She swears like a sailor...
Wife: βHow much do sailors swear though?β
Me: βA Ship-Load!β
... one of my prouder dad-jokes
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 06 2019
Fun fact 777: 3.14% of sailors are Pirates.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 01 2019
I met a pilot once who said he actually wanted to be a sailor.
He was in the wrong craft.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
Why couldnβt the sailors play cards?
The captain was standing on the deck.
π︎ 228
π
︎ Aug 19 2019
Only 3.14% of sailors arrrr Οrates
π︎ 588
π
︎ Aug 17 2018
When is a sailor not a sailor?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 26 2019
3.14% of sailors are Pi rates
π︎ 190
π
︎ Oct 25 2018
What do you call a pissed of sailor?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 12 2019
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