How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Oct 29 2019
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Why did the pizza break the roof of the hipsters mouth.

Hit bit into it before it was cool.

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📅︎ Nov 25 2019
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Even though it's called "the roof of the mouth"...

We never say "The roof is on fire!" when we burn it.

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👤︎ u/JinTx
📅︎ Nov 04 2018
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The criminal charge

A young lady had a problem because this other gal looked almost exactly like her, but had a nasty vocabulary. Nobody wanted to be around her anymore because the foul-mouthed girl really harmed her reputation.

So the lady in question decided to push the foul-mouthed look-alike off of the top roof of the Empire State Building. However, after doing this, she was soon arrested. Guess what she was charged with?

Making an obscene clone fall.

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📅︎ Jan 09 2019
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My grandpa's favorite joke this time of year

I used to know a guy who absolutely loved hollandaise sauce. He would buy the spiciest brand he could find and would put it on just about everything. Well it turned out that because he used the spicy sauce so much, it started to wear down a hole on the roof of his mouth. He went to a doctor and asked what he could do about it. The doctor looks at the damage and determines that the man will need a metal plate placed at the roof of his mouth. The man is relieved but can't help asking the doctor if he will still be able to enjoy his hollandaise sauce. The doctor reassures the man that his new plate will be made of chrome. The man was curious, so he asked if chrome was the best choice. The doctor responded with "Oh don't worry, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

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📅︎ Dec 19 2013
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Annoyed by songs from "Frozen"...

Daughter: I can't get these Frozen songs out of my head. (continues singing)...

Me: Stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth... that will help.

...daughter tells me I'm "the asshole of dadjokes" :/

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👤︎ u/DopeWeasel
📅︎ Jun 05 2014
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How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

👍︎ 80
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👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 18 2019
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How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

👍︎ 18
💬︎
👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 09 2019
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How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 05 2019
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How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/notdadbot
📅︎ Nov 17 2019
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