Rodney Dangerfield Puns

I didn't want her emotional baggage.

Did I steal this from someone? I'm getting old...

My son made himself a banana sandwich.

Son: "This is what monkeys eat."

I thought I'd mess with him a bit on this "fact", and throw some dad humour at him.

Me: "What?! Monkeys don't eat sandwiches! How do they even bake the bread?"

Son: "With a g'rilla."

I think this kid is going places. I was completely outdone.

"During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me;

just the other night she called me from a hotel."

- Rodney Dangerfield