Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?

He was just arrested for Petty theft.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aloiciousss
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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A rock star's Journey

A number of years ago I was in a rock band. We were hugely successful, playing some of the biggest venues and entertaining swarms of fans.

The last shoes we ever played were on our world tour. We played the Americas and then flew over to Europe. We played our way through Russia and even a couple of gigs in China, before selling out our final show in Japan.

It was a hell of a Journey, but it was time for me to hang up my guitar. I retired from the rock star life and got an office job in Tokyo.

I made a few friends at work, and grew close with one in particular, Narada-san. One day Narada had the day off for a funeral, but that wasn't enough; he needed more time. He was torn between his obligation to return to work and his desire to have more time at home. He asked me what he should do.

The answer was simple. I picked up my guitar and played a Japanese version of our biggest hit from 1981:

Don't Stop Bereaving

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BANGexclamationmark
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2020
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Did you hear about the rock star who broke a 13 year old out of jail?

Bruce Springsteen

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/akjohnston87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29 2020
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Unless they wanted to be a rock star
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oknopesookok
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2019
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you’re a ROCK STAR, get the show on, get paid
πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PetaDontSueMe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2019
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Are you interested in dating a rock star?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2019
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Rock Star Adam Ant might go on tour again but he ran into a few snags...

He remains adamant though.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shdchko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2019
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What keeps rock stars cool?

Their fans!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zeromorphis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2018
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Patrick Star is dumb because he has literally been living under a rock his whole life reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BossRediter87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2018
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Comets are the real rock stars.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bad_puns-good_buns
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2017
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Which rock star loves bouillon cubes?

David Lee Broth.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/seasofcheese929
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2012
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The Queen of all elements.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2018
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Did you hear about the meteor?

He was like a rock star, but he eventually fell down to earth.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2019
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A man walks into a doctor’s office...

and says”Doc, I think I’m addicted to Smash Mouth.”

The doctor asks β€œHow can you tell? Have you had any symptoms?”

The man replied β€œSOME...”

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Nope_TSS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 28 2018
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What do you call a comet that makes music?

A Rock-Star

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DragonMonkeyz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2019
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The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Skormes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2019
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What would you call the sun if it was made of granite and heavy metals?

A rock star...

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/code_engine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2019
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What do Alex Honnold and Jared Leto have in common?

They're both rock stars.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RubeGoldbergMachines
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2019
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Showed my dad a post on Reddit...

I showed him a post on /r/pics about geology, and he looked me in the eye and said "Do you think they call famous geologists 'rock-stars'?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 100
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Iamurcouch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2014
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