I tried to take my arrogant horse for a walk this summer, but it resisted.
It thought it was too hot to trot.
It would be shocking if this isn't a repost but I could not resist
A father that couldn't resist.
I had a kernel of energy left so I created something amaizeing and ear-resistable.
I caught my son chewing on an electrical cord...
so I had to ground him.
He's doing better currently.
And conducting himself properly.
A new variant of head lice has appeared and they are resistant to conventional treatments.
This has left scientists scratching their heads l
What a brand name. Could not resist.
What do you call a dinosaur who is easy to clean, heat resistant and long lasting?
py-rex
I'll get my coat...
I've met this french business woman recently. She was so beautiful and so wealthy, I just couldn't resist her and her lovely
I think joule really likes this joke
I couldn't resist the sexy TV remote
It was an instant turn on
Can't resist, the pan is searing hot.
Why couldn't Gavin resist eating the candy?
And children that is how Watt was invented
I came up with the top ten reasons you shouldn't pee on an electric fence...
If electricity always follows the path of least resistance,
Why doesn't lighting always strike in France?
The Killer Ohms are attacking us!
WE MUST MAKE A RESISTANCE!
What was the child who wouldn’t nap guilty of?
My friends wife says she can't resist me.
I guess that makes me an ohm wrecker
What does the electrician say when he meditates?
Couldn’t resist
Friend texts me: Can you leave a key fir me under the mat?
Me: Maple I will, Maple I won’t.
Friend: ?
Me: Pine, I’ll leave a key
Friend: oh, my typo, haha
Me: I’ve got a bunch more Buckeye will wait til later to tell you.
Right after being born, my newborn daughter wouldn't "latch" for her first feeding. So after 27-plus hours of labor and four hours of pushing, I looked at my poor, exhausted wife and said, "Looks like she's... resisting abreast."
My first official dad joke.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’ll be putting this in my little one’s Reddit Scholarship Fund!
Why did the CPU head up half an orchestra?
Because it's a semiconductor.
Anybody else find it hard to resist saying “fish dicks” when cooking your kids fish sticks?
How does someone become a conductor?
Did you hear about the serfs who rebelled against their lord?
Their resistance was feudal.
Dad: *Watching cop show with daughter late at night* Dad: Time for bed kiddo! Daughter: I’m not tired yet though!
Dad: Pretending to be a dispatcher Yeah, she’s resisting arrest
I have a personal trainer and him and I do a lot of resistance training
He tells me to lift something and I say no
If something were heat resistant...
Would you say it's heat proof, to a certain degree?
Why did the police officer put the cranky baby in jail?
Couldn't resist posting it.
Not a dad, but I have a good one
kid: RERErRErerErRerererererEreRerrerereRrErrrErEre!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?
Dad: Calm down! My ears hertz!!!
I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments.
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
A new strain of lice is going around that is resistant to conventional treatments.
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments
That has left scientists scratching their heads
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments
It has left scientists scratching their heads.
My son kept chewing on all the electrical chords we had set up for the holidays, so I grounded him...
He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly...
I caught my son chewing on electrical cords.
So I had to ground him. He’s doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
If a child refuses to take a nap
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, does that mean they're guilty of resisting a rest?
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
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