I've just finished a really good book entitled 'Acted' - I don't really understand the relevance of the title, but the book is about censorship. Anyway, I think everyone should

[Redacted]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/staffell
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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Got the girlfriend again (with extra-groan for Easter relevance)

A couple of nights ago my girlfriend and I spotted a white jackrabbit in the field near our house. We noticed one again tonight on our drive home:

Girlfriend: Hey look, it's the Easter bunny.

Me: Huh, pretty sure that's the same jackrabbit from the other night.

Girlfriend: Can't be a jackrabbit, its ears are way too small.

Me: We're clearly just splitting hares here, babe.

It took a second, but she responded with the desired groan and the "you're an idiot" face push-away. Victory.

πŸ‘︎ 974
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HEHHHHHHHH
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
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relevant rn
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Atg2411
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Relevant
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dammchicka
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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My grandfather’s broken watch is as relevant to my family today as it was to him 50 years ago.

It’s a timeless piece, really.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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[META] Could we get some moderation in this sub?

In my eyes, this sub has a serious problem with non-dadjoke posts. Sub-reddit rule #1 is "Jokes must be dad jokes.". What good are the rules if they aren't enforced? I do realize that what constitutes a dadjoke might not be clarely defined, but we get a lot of posts that are marked nsfw. That's a "This is not a dadjoke"-flag. Why not start with removing nsfw posts?

PS: Why do we have rule #6? It is not possible for a dadjoke to be nsfw, so it should never be relevant.

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buddhainhair
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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OPun (Open source Puns) database from my site released

Hopefully this post is allowed. 5 or so years ago, I decided to post puns that I either came up with or enjoyed a lot. My goal was to make it easy to find puns based on a topic or subject. So I heavily tagged all of the entries with relevant information. I've consistently uploaded new puns on at least a weekly basis, but usually every 3 days.

I've amassed a large collection that I've decided to open source. I've dumped my database into a JSON file that is open and free to use (with proper attribution).

Let me know what you think!
https://punatorium.com/opun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dabberzx3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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Now’s your time to shine

Hope this is okay, but I write a new joke every week on a white board at work and I’ve run out of good ones. If you feel it’s relevant, I work for a roofing/siding company. Give me your best shot. I will reply if I find one to add to my list.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LadyBratcher
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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Still relevant right?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flarebomb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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How relevant
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BossRediter87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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[Insert relevant title here]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BionicCreeper15
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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Which of the brothers in the Jackson 5 was the most relevant?

Germane

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big-Red-Dog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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How do you get a PokΓ©mon on a bus?

You poke em on! Am I relevant yet?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Existingperson2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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[META] My husband was gifted this highly relevant book

https://imgur.com/a/7MkkaPN

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dani_bar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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Bayern Munich couldn’t eat after the Barcelona match

They 8-2 much

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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petri dishes are always culturally relevant
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2016
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not a joke.... shirt.woot.com has a relevant shirt today..

http://shirt.woot.com/offers/dad-joke-u

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GB570
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2016
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Relevant PVP Comic Strip

http://pvponline.com/comic/2014/10/01/involuntary-reflux

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πŸ‘€︎ u/feminaprovita
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2014
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Seems Relevant
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bob59221
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2013
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Relevant SMBC

http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3473#comic

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wheepete
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2014
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I just had to cut my own hair and I'm not really happy with it...

But it's growing on me

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superscoops
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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What did Lightning McQueen say when he ate a nut?

Cashew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeeviTheGuru
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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The audiologist had his malpractice case thrown out.

The judge ruled the evidence was all ear-relevant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gorflindal
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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A soldier walked into a hospital and a nurse asked him why he was in the hospital.

He replied, "I thought the front lines were here."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/donut_pickle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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Not an actual dad joke, but still relevant:

I just watched the movie "Airplane", and the more I think about it, the more I realize that It's packed with dad jokes. The smoking ticket, the "drinking problem"... It's basically dad jokes the movie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Evil_173
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2014
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A man is speeding down the road, so a cop pulls him over...

The cop says "Why weren't you braking back there?"

And the man replies "I'm wearing clean underwear."

The cop says "Why is that relevant?"

And the man says "Well, I don't wanna get any skidmarks."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Why did the diplomat take a bunch of ducks to the restaurant?

Because he wanted quackers with his soup.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madlarkin001
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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As a recent college grad, I had a realization.

I understand my field to a degree

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsProfOak
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2016
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Poop jokes are not my favorite kind of jokes, but they are a solid number two
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
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Beware the cracktus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daverge
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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A dad joke on the fly with my buddy

My buddy and I were texting a few days ago. He was complaining about the power at his place being out again (relevant, he’s lost power a few times already this winter season). Our exchange went like this:

Him: How about electricity? Wind storm knocked ours out around noon.

Me: No electricity? That’s not shocking.

I couldn’t help myself.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/An_Imperfect_Guy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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My Dad is a little confused about current fashion trends.

I walked into the kitchen wearing a new orange t-shirt.

Me: I wasn't sure I'd look good in orange, but I really like this new shirt.

Dad: You know, I heard orange is the new black.

Me: That's a TV show.

Dad: Oh, that makes so much more sense.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizkidmn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2014
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Talking about boobs with my girlfriend

"Who doesn't enjoy boobs?" "They're alright." "No, half of them are left."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Silverhead
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2014
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If a mother is expecting a child that was conceived in the capital of the Czech Republic...

would she be Prague-nant?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/graafslaaf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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What has Mozart been up to for the last few hundred years?

De-composing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PreachedOrphan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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Elevator gem I found today reddit.com/r/mildlyintere…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pieceofcheese87
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2014
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Monty Phyton's Michael Palin is a true dad.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingshigh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
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What does Nancy Pelosi call her Amazon Echo?

Speaker of the house

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neurotichipster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
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House Fire

When I was a kid, my favourite thing ever was tractors. It was my first word, my first toy, I had posters of them on my bedroom walls and I loved to draw them too. Unfortunately with age I don’t quite have the same amount of passion nowadays. This all became relevant recently as there was this house fire on my street last week. My instincts told me to enter the house to save the family inside as the Fire Service hadn’t arrived yet. I was able to break down a door and actually clear all of the smoke from the house saving everyone inside. I escorted them out to be greeted by the Fireman who had just arrived. Puzzled, they asked how on earth I was able to clear all the smoke. I simply replied β€œI’m an extractor fan”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpecialBKay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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Depressing.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vigilantetim
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2014
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Christmas/Pirate Puns Request

I know this isn’t entirely relevant to the subreddit, but I’m not sure where else to ask. Can someone think of a pun to combine Christmas and Pirates, ideally one that could be used as a team name?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FakeSalsa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Dad walking out of the pantry

Dad walks about of the pantry holding an empty bottle of spice.

"We're almost out of thyme!"

Mom shakes her head, "he's been waiting years to say that."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frenchvanilla
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
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This pun can not be beat
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fidgetkingz
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2017
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A gardener took his dog to the vet...

"He's been acting real depressed," explained the gardener. "He just lays in the garden day after day, letting out these really sad sighs... "

"I see," replied the vet. "What do you grow?"

"This season it's cantaloupe, but I don't see how that's relevant."

The vet nodded knowingly and replied, "Well, that explains it-- he's a Melon Collie."

πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tribunal_Power
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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What type of melon can't get married?

Cantaloupe

(This joke is low hanging fruit, but I'll take it anyway.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forbesmetal
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
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Grandpa joke

My grandpa told me this joke; mind you, it was in the '90s, before all the computer tech became relevant.

Inventor runs to the patent office:

  • I have a brand new machine idea!
  • What does it do? - asked the official.
  • You know how every man is tired of shaving every single morning? My shaving machine would be placed all over the city, for scruffy lads to just put their heads in the device, and in exchange for a quarter, it would shave their face for them! - replied the inventor.
  • But Sir, every person's face has a different shape!
  • ...At first!
πŸ‘︎ 512
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DashcamWarriors
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2015
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If an AI simulation of a pop singer performs all over the world ...
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ir8prim8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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