I'm the relentless pun-guy at my house, but the credit goes to my wife for this one.
Our 2 year old daughter had her stuffed lion and she dropped it and likes to pretend it's a problem, and says "oh no".
I replied "oh no, lion down, lion down! What do we do!?" and my wife just calmly says, "don't worry, he's just lyin' down."
The troll replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"
My 8 year old just got so pissed off she threw my phone at me from across the car. Worth it!
They were really out for blood.
I'm currently teaching at a summer program for kids going into 1st grade through 6th grade. I've been using the opportunity to relentlessly torment the kids with dadjokes and puns, naturally.
This morning, one of my 6 year olds was having breakfast. She looked down at the oatmeal and said "Oooh, this is hot, and I'm cold."
She then instantly looked up at me and insisted "Don't call me cold, don't call me cold, don't call me cold!"
I'm so proud.
Dad: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
(expectant silence)
Dad: (relentless attempts to evoke wrong answers from audience)
Dad: No eye-deer??? (:D)
I never found it funny, but now that he's not around to tell it I kinda chuckle.
There used to be two great punners. We were the best at what we did. And what we did was pun. There was me, a simple lad from a tiny backwater town and then there was him. A swarthy fellow from the land of the Armada, the Inquisition and the Conquistadors. A Spaniard he was, by both birth and spirit. We duelled relentlessly, always gaining ground only to see it slip away, a pun-of-war as it were. A seemingly eternal struggle for dominion. This endless struggle took its toll on both him and I, until I realized that it was time to stop. I chose to cede the mantle to him. And I will never go back to that life.
And so...
There will only be Juan.
I tutor geometry to a 14 year old in high school and he was nervous about his upcoming test so I asked him:
"Do you know what the bravest shape is, one that is relentless?"
"I don't know what?"
"The try-angle."
