I hate autocorrect.
It makes me say things I didn't Nintendo.
This guy pulled off a 5-month long con with a hidden fake mustache just to make a dad joke...and it’s truly amazing
https://i.imgur.com/O6ePcMG.jpg
I can’t imagine what that guy is doing now...what left is there to do in life after reaching the pinnacle of dad jokes.
An inspiration to us all.
Wife said she was wearing black today because she was in mourning...
Me: What are you wearing in the afternoon?
Wife: :::blinks twice and walks away:::
What do you call a deaf dog?
It doesn't matter, she won't hear you.
Checking for eggs
In the shops
Pick up a carton of eggs
Open the carton to check for broken eggs
Say audibly "Yep, they're eggs"
Sometimes get a chuckle from an obvious dad
I was asked to give the first initial and last name of my favorite philosopher
But I said I Kant.
[Request] Fish puns.
I am at the beach with my family for Christmas and I need some high quality fish puns STAT! Thanks ahead of time.
This is crackin' me up
So I'm over at my cousin's house and her husband hits me with this:
If you have cheese but no crackers, are you crack 'a' lackin'
