What did the body builder say when he realized that he was all out of protein shake mix?

"NO WHEY!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to be the soccer team's striker until my coach realized I wasn't playing well. He said....

You should play defense, no offense.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beanfibers
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter.

So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I mean... ;)
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/parth_shresth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
While walking around the kitchen today, I realized that we sprung a leak.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punaccomplished
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.

Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What industry is shadier than people realize?

Umbrella Manufacturing.

Courtesy of r/AskReddit

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTimeDictator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I suddenly realized I was going through the airport turnstile sideways, but it was too late...

I was going to Bangkok.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FelizMendelssohn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Tiring realization
πŸ‘︎ 189
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyCatSkits
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
*Whose/You're
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dickiedaydream
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
When you realize, too late, that there is no more Toilet Paper

there Bidets like this

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Espadajin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I realized today the life of a blood cell is truly futile..

After all, it lives its whole life in vein

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bobby_pendragon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Has anyone realize β€œThe IRS”

Spells β€œtheirs”?

πŸ‘︎ 596
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Turned on the US News and didn't realize...

That there was a new Gerard Butler movie: "Capitol Hill has Fallen"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SliceOfLife37
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
You do realize that it's biblically correct for a man to make the coffee. Haven't you ever read the book,

Hebrews

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mastiff_Speed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn’t afford the bill.

He really got a head of himself.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
First, I posted this on r/jokes but it didn't get much love. Then I realized I posted it on the wrong joke sub. Y'all love the punny jokes, so here you go:

Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?

Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?

oh wait.........

Credit goes to Matt from Studio C

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lickedy_Split_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I realized that the 8mm fastener is my favorite because it's my M8!

That is all.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadPunsAreBadPuns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I just realized...

I haven’t changed my underwear this year.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/callMeSIX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I was really moved when I realized my mother let me win at cards.

It meant a great deal to me.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Taco_Pie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
It kinda spoils the ending of Revenge of the Sith once you realize...

they're not called the Order of the Jelive

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saeldaug
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a non-binary Samurai kill people?

They/them

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sploogetoob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...

I work with beet boxes and I wrap!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anelion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I just realized nothing starts with "n" and ends with "g"

Go ahead, prove me wrong

πŸ‘︎ 361
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Photoshoppin_Boi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was young, I was obsessed with the difference between a sine and a cosine.

Later, I realized it was just a phase.

πŸ‘︎ 291
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I didn't realize my phone came with noface detection
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Llamalords101
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't think the author even realized what they did! Context: the article is about killer whales attacking boats.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Comanch3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into his home to realize that all his lamps were stolen

He was delighted

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TJPancaker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm putting together a book of tried and true recipes, none of which will include thyme as an ingredient.

>!I've decided the title is going to be 'Thymeless Classics'!<.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
After watching Hubie Halloween I realized that every Adam Sandler movie takes place in the same universe.

Unfortunately, it's the one we live in.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/csteelatgburg
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.

Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathorcharcoal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar and it was at that moment that he realized that his patch was on the wrong eye.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I was shopping at the grocery store like it was 1999. That’s when I realized the party was over...

Oops, they were out of thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyberentomology
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized...

I'm in Seine.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cinnafury03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Help me out: need some rockstar/music themed food puns for my 3 year old’s birthday party!

Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. We’ll be serving:

Chicken nuggets PB&Js (in the shape of guitars) Veggie tray Fruit tray Water & juice

I’m struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isn’t even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know πŸ˜‚ Help me out if you can think of any more!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I just realized my kitchen countertop is made out of marble.

I have been taking it for granite all these years.

πŸ‘︎ 288
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't realize the reopening of the Lego store was going to be so popular...

People are lining up for blocks!

πŸ‘︎ 327
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crogers2009
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever since I started working from home, I've realized that one of my coworkers is a real bitch...

But that's okay, I love working with my dog.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamyourcheese
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Realized my boys will someday be dads after the cat tried to sneak outside tonight

Me, to my two boys: "Hazel tried to escape, but I captured her."

Boy 1: (pronunciation) "cap- CHURR!"

Boy 2: "Or... You CAT-tured her!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
When you buy a bigger bathtub....

You have more bath room, but less bathroom.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
When did Yoda realize that he would be little?

His first word was β€œiota”.

... and so it was spoken, from then onward, into existence.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arc-ion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
If a father in Iraq gifts his daughter a new bag, what will she say?

Thanks for the Baghdad!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alpha_Supreme
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My self-centered friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn't afford the bill.

He really got a head of himself.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...

I work with beet boxes and I wrap!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anelion
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report

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