Why, after a rib dinner, did everyone want wet, juvenile nocturnal raptors?

And why do they think I’d have a supply of moist owlets, anyways?

šŸ‘︎ 7
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/pj566
šŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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distance raptor over time raptor equals...

VELOCIRAPTOR

-heehee physics jokes

šŸ‘︎ 61
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/mollywashere318
šŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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If you hit a raptor hard enough

Will it leave a dino"sore"?

šŸ‘︎ 3
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/zsm1994
šŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Taming raptors is hard... imgur.com/RQxOw6g
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/SeBAGeNetiC
šŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2015
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Raptor
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Hithercat
šŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2015
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Why aren't the Raptors called the Torontosaurus Rex?
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Stevie_Zzz
šŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2016
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What do you call a dinosaur with good dental hygiene?

A flossy raptor.

šŸ‘︎ 11
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šŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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What do you call a really fast dinosaur?

A velocity raptor

šŸ‘︎ 11
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/TheGreatVeggie
šŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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What do you call a hip hop Dinosaur?

A Raptor

šŸ‘︎ 10
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/skyhighjams
šŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur that takes good care of his teeth?

A floss-o-raptor

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/WheezyDaStarfish
šŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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Where do dinosaurs go out to dinner?

At a Raptorant.

šŸ‘︎ 3
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/kingnebwsu
šŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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How do you find a velociraptor?

Distanceraptor divided by timeraptor

šŸ‘︎ 351
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šŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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What's the most musical dinosaur?

A raptor

šŸ‘︎ 5
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/maccer20
šŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Which is the favourite animal of a physicist that likes dinosaurs?

Velocity-raptor.

šŸ‘︎ 3
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/NYOOK1
šŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Chicago's Field Museum has launched a hotline where your child can text-message with a "dinosaur" that answers their questions.

Great, now parents have to worry about their kids getting ghosted by a velociraptor? "Hey Timmy, it's Ronny the Raptor. U up? Don't you hate it when you send an eggplant emoji to a Triceratops and they be like: who dis?"

šŸ‘︎ 3
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/GeoffPlitt
šŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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What dinosaur had the healthiest teeth and gums?

The flosso-raptor.

šŸ‘︎ 2
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/lucas1607
šŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit āž”

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Skormes
šŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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What do you get when you cross dinosaur DNA with Pig DNA?

Tyrana-ShortRibs Rex. It's a close relative of the VelSausage Raptor.

Basically all of them become Swine-o-saurs.

You can find them at Jurassic Pork.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/NealSr
šŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2015
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What do you call a dinosaur that drives too fast? (punned my 5 year old, hard)

A velocity raptor.

What happens when he loses control?

He T-Rex.

šŸ‘︎ 6
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/MisterWinchester
šŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2015
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