Some dumb random puns from an Among Us server.
While talking about Tommy Hilfiger and the prices of Tommy Hilfiger. I randomly did this
What do you call it when a random person farts on a bunch of strangers?
Wife: Babe you keep putting the remote in random places...
Me: Correction, I keep putting the remote in "remote" places. That's where it belongs right?
I got a eye roll and a sigh, score.
One day, my friend started falling randomly. But when he took his footwear off, he was fine!
Turns out he was wearing slippers.
Random thought
We're in this together, To-Get-Her
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.
The wizard in my campaign just got handed a whole bunch of random, unlabeled Sesame Street videos.
He's going to learn how to count or spell.
The wife accused me of always dropping random Elvis lyrics in our conversations.
Her suspicious mind left me all shook up
What does Woody do when he has to choose a random letter of the alphabet?
Me: I am terrified of random letters
Therapist: You are?
Me: [Screams in horror]
Therapist: Oh, I see
Me: [Screams intensify]
From a random UK_food thread, took me two reads but nice subtle pun
Company password
During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacremento"
When asked why they had such a long password, the employee rolled their eyes and said "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital!"
Someone secretly randomized my playlist.
Now I’m left with an unchained meddley.
I found this beauty last year in the random crap aisle of a store.
My TV started playing random Netflix shows. It was weird...
But I’ve seen Stranger Things
I wrote this story called 404.
I lost it and I couldn't find it.
(if this has been done before sorry, I just randomly thought of this)
Did you know that Olive branch is a symbol of peace. People were using olive branch during the history to declare truce by giving it to their enemies
If you are wondering how I know this, it's because olive random trivia
Science calls it as "randomized clinical trial controlled with placebo", whereas I call it as..
What do you call a random dog you see on the street?
Nothing, you make weird noises until it comes close enough for you to pet it
I bought a covid face mask covered with random musical symbols...
I have a condition where I spontaneously and randomly tell jokes to people
An alien is strange.
A random person is stranger.
I put up a random movie, turns out it was about the invention of the tampon
I didn’t expect it to be a period piece
HELP! A random car was left outside of my house with my name on it!
I've caught the car owner virus !
Really getting tired of all these random 3.14 jokes
I made a dad joke generator
I don’t know if I am allowed to post this but I just made a dad joke generator. Hope you guys like it. If I am breaking the rule, please let me know I don’t mind withdrawing the post. Here’s the link:
https://kiranojhanp.github.io/random-joke-generator/
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
Any random man: Arya Stark?
Arya: Yes I am.
Sansa: Yes I am.
Robb: Yes I am.
Bran: Yes I am.
Rickon: Yes I am.
Ned: Yes I am.
Jon Snow: No, I'm not
I just caught my son eating some random thing off the floor
...and I shout at him, “HEY! What is that in your mouth!?!” And he smiles at me and says with the sweetest voice, “teeth.”
🤦♂️
Does this make him the dad now?
What do NASA programmers do on the weekends?
My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances.
I said: "There's the door."
Do you accept random Facebook requests?
An Honest Werewolf : "What do you mean? I am not a werewolf"
A Random Seer : "Either you are lying or you are an unawerewolf"
Suck at puns, but i randomly found this
Random disbeliever: "how can you forsee something that hasn't even happened yet?"
I hate when random people I don't know complain,
"How could you let your wife leave without saying goodbye?" I see her off, Anon.
Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...
I hate it when my wife says "Are you listening to me?!"
Such a random way to start a conversation.
One of my kitchen gadgets is randomly playing classical music
I think it’s the Chopin board.
I'm terrified of random letters
me: i'm terrified of random letters
therapist: you are?
me: [screams]
therapist: oh i see
me: [screaming intensifies]
Me: I'm terrified of random letters.
Therapist: you are?
Me: [Screams]
Therapist: I see
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