George Washington is the only president to have been drawn and quartered.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Trekspert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
🚨︎ report
They rescheduled the quarterly pogo stick competition.

They had to wait for the he spring.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I won a $1million in the lottery last night and have decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have 999.999.75 left.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
The Lord of the Rings official pinball machine doesn’t take quarters.

Only Tolkiens

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter

I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itmightbedave
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Made a quarter pounder at work today. v.redd.it/o7z4m708exy51
πŸ‘︎ 159
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yo_ells
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Lmao
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SlothsRevenge622
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend likes to convert all of his dollars into quarters.

He's changed a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he could behave..

β€œWhy do I always have to pay you to be good”

Why can’t you be a good for nothing like your dad

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Mom complained when I asked for a few dollars in quarters to fill up my car’s tires.

Dad looked at me, shrugged and said β€œInflation.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jjlet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did 50 Cent do when he got hungry?

58

πŸ‘︎ 391
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πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the dollar say say to the 4 quarters

You've changed man

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My mom found a 1975 quarter online for $150. Here’s how it went

i look up the coin online and it is worth $6 in mint condition and tell her the value

My mom: we should ask if they’ll negotiate

Me: we should buy it and see if we can flip it.

I’m 16 and fear for my future kids.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shump23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do magicians get quarters?

Cashiers

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Criminal justice has progressed

When a thief is caught today, it’s not like the olden days. Now, you get a mugshot and housed in a jail cell. Then, they were just drawn and quartered.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?

A quarterback.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Vettel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Somebody crop him in half for a quarter XD
πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend minted quarters instead of going to class for the whole semester...

He coined the term.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cage filled with Quarters, Dimes, and Pennies?

Nickel-less Cage!

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TH0R5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw 2000 pounds of quarters the other day

That’s a ton of money!

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NekoLover72
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Hehehe close quarters....
πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jabookalakq
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How come it used to cost a quarter to pump your tires at the gas station, and now it costs a dollar?

Inflation

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nftpc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had $1,000,000, I’d donate a quarter of it to charity.

Then I’d have $999,999.75.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DropTopTyler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
R"oof"
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stunner19
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
If the Super Bowl went into overtime, does that mean the first 4 quarters were just a really long commercial since the game was Tide?

I really hope Tide had another commercial ready just in case.

Edit: Thank you for the Reddit Gold, kind stranger! My first!

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brady_bear3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I won a million dollars playing the lottery and donated a quarter of it to my favorite charity.

What should I do with the remaining $999,999.75?

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skol_vkings
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I made a β€œQuarter Pounder”
πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TDogisRedd
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Some Manwiches
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zleek
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was young, my dad used to throw quarters at my head whenever I acted up.

He said, β€œMaybe this’ll knock some scents into you.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If a servant's quarters is too big....

It will be called a servant's whole

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/p_tally
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
When doing end of quarter inventory,

Any help you can get really counts.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beanimus0829
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Im gonna start making batting cage business that only accepts pennies, dimes,quarters, half dollars, and dollar coins

Gonna call it Nickel-less Cage

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when it rains quarters?

Climate Change

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Weeb_Boi_69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

Nurse: No change yet.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walks into the same bar every day at quarter past five...

You would think he'd learn to duck under it by now...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/p90medic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
It was really windy last night. A quarter of my roof came off in the wind...

oof.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/haltergego
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Your under a rest
πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WinterWolf041
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I once threw a quarter into the San Andreas...

I have always wanted to be generous to a fault.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cleanandclever
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky

β€œWow!” I say. β€œIt’s climate change!”

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/usernametakenexe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Why should you avoid a pirate laundromat?

They give no quarter!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If I won $300,000, I'd give a quarter of it to charity.

Not sure what I'd do with the other $299,999.75

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SMsyrris
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Now stop horsing around.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elarandra
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
How many Quarter Pounders make a Big Mac?

None of them, they can’t cook.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jadekinsjackson
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
They tortured George Washington after he died.

They had him drawn and quartered.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimmybuffetkol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What did 50Cent do when he got hungry?

58

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was younger, my Dad used to throw quarters at me whenever I acted stupidly.

He said, β€œMaybe that’ll knock some cents into you.”

πŸ‘︎ 356
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report

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