Being married to Jon Bernthal would be quite punishing.

He has a habit of being too Frank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whattajosh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are you PUNishing me dad?

See son, I am planning on going into politics. So I PUNdit.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2017
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A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.

If you can’t beat β€˜em, join β€˜em.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-overthinks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Is it safe to assume this subreddits fav marvel character is The PUNisher
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AussieWizard
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonksFeet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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I apologise if this isn't allowed.

New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoThruTrucks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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A priest was getting very annoyed with his young parishioners during dinner time and said if they continued misbehaving even the cutlery would be punished.

One boy said to another: "What? the fork in hell?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atheistmil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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PUNishment
πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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How are reservoirs punished?

They are given Misdameanors

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asadleafsfan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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How does Darth Vader punish his kids?

He forces them to their rooms...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alastrel3000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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What type of car believes in capital punishment?

A Musthang

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?

decapita-shin

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flame2212
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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I make puns

Does that make me a pundit?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecataclysmo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?

He was grounded

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjfullinfaw07
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease

We're called "Gluten for Punishment."

Our first single is "Bread or Alive."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scrranger11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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A favorable Punishment
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soul2413
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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Harsh Punishment please!!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EXPLOSIVEGAMMA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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My wife hasn't spoken to me for 6 days.

What's even better, she thinks I'm being punished.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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He got PUNished for that one

https://preview.redd.it/ao5chw5ue0g41.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=0ab14484d7f201db497d7224d030d944ce450d7b

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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Never pick a fight with a music teacher

You may think it’s A minor offense, but the punishment could B major

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Anyone found using incorrect punctuation should be punished...

...with a lengthy sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/richardec
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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When I have kids, I will punish them by making them mix melted butter and flour until I send them to bed.

They will roux the day that they anger me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quantum13_6
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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My grandma turned 102 today...

When I asked her, "Whats your secret?"

She looked me straight in the eyes and said, " God is punishing me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?

They docked his pay.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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The government is starting to punish criminals by giving them Coronavirus

They get hand-coughed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mush_Tilly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyperSeagull
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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A Cool Pun Generator - Don't PUNish me for Posting!!

Some cool and PUnny PUns

https://generatorfun.com/pun-generator

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleeping on the sofa...

I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping...

...with a really angry bear somewhere close by...

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
🚨︎ report
It should be illegal for London to go into lockdown over Christmas!

...That's capital punishment!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/queenofthebans
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
You're being PUNished for that either way...
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xx_Heini_xX
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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dont punish him
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome22507
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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PUNishment
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D7amo96
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Didn't punish George

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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I think I'm gonna be PUNished for that....
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeryus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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Someone I don't know punished me in the face

who nose who did that

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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Though not a perfect solution, cryogenic storage could be an alternative to capital punishment.

It has it’s frozen cons.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MotoFuzzle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
When i was a child my father punished me.......

Cuz i got a "O" on my Blood test

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hanirm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Why did Stalin only write in lower case?

He was afraid of Capitalism.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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If being out of shape was a crime, a productive punishment would be to run on a treadmill.

It would be a run-on sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DudleyDoesMath
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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My dad punished me for playing with electricity

He said, "Son, you're grounded!"

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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How do you punish your pet rock?

You hit rock bottom.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyBroOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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I violated grammar rules, so I got punished with the death sentence.

Death.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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The jury found me guilty. I asked the judge what the punishment would be, and he said: "Well..."

Suspended sentence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Can't spell punishment without pun
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/venetayDVDy
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleeping on the sofa. I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping.

...with a really angry bear somewhere close by.

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report

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