Most protestants are dog people
...they don't like cat licks.
Protestant hits tear gas back
I hired a group of protestant religious sect members to haul my furniture to my new house...
They were movers and Shakers.
What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?
Well, it’s black and white.
All these protests....
I get being anti-homework but how can you be pro-tests?
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
Why did the conductor get arrested at the protest?
For trying to incite violins
Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?
... so they can beat the crowds!
Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)
What do anti-police protesters use to move around in New York City?
A cab
(It came to mind and I have no wish for it to be political)
Why do police get to riots early?
Why do the police show up early to peaceful protest?
They like to beat the crowds.
I don’t think protesting works.
My whole life I’ve seen “END ROAD WORK” signs, but they keep working on roads.
Why did the sushi chef go to the capitol riots?
To protest the Unagi Ration.
My friend dumped a five hundred pound load of pig intestines on his boss's desk in protest...
Cops just arrested a protester throwing flowers...
they deemed it an act of Violets.
Tomorrow there will be a protest about fairy bread
The police are expecting hundreds and thousands
Did you hear about LEGO mini figures protesting?
In the early 1900's, a number of protests arose because of employment of children in coal mines.
I suppose you could say the owners had a minor minor miner problem.
I went to buy some fruit today but the store was mobbed with protesters.
So there was a protest the other day. Someone told a joke, and nobody could stop laughing. It was a riot.
My brother, the pro baseball pitcher, told me about the time he intentionally walked every player on the opposing team as a protest against unfairness in life...
That took a lot of balls.
In protest of these lockdowns...
I wont be getting my hair cut until they're lifted!
The police arrested two kids yesterday during a protest. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating firecrackers.
They charged one, and lit the other off.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
The #1 item pickpocketed during last months protests were mirrors
This doesn't reflect well on the protestors
Did you hear about the Geese protesting?
Did you hear about the Geese protesting at the park? They want gluten free bread.
They organized a shit-in.
Why are there no ants in churches?
Because they are in sects.
They are discussing bringing in fruit to use against the protesters!
Next wave of enforcement will be Apricops
One of my friends recently told me he’s bored and looking for a fun new hobby. I suggested getting involved in political protesting.
Many people protested the shutdown.
But soon, the resistance died out.
How do we combat Erection Fraud?
We pitch tents in front of the White House and protest.
A blind man was hit with sign at my local protest
Some people in my town were protesting by transplanting the courthouse lawn...
It was a grassroots movement.
You know what would be funny? A large group of people protesting, getting into fights with police and destroying property.
Gordon Ramsay once survived a mustard-gas attack when he was in the army. Then, he got pepper-sprayed whilst at a protest.
You could say that he is relished among the cooking community, and truly a seasoned veteran
To all the protesters holding up the "I need a haircut" signs, we should all be yelling...
What do you get when you cross a policeman with a skunk ?
My friend Dante was a big fan of PETA, but then decided to protest against them.
A police officer stops a guy carrying a backpack on suspicion of terrorism.
The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack.
The guy obliges.
In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught carrying weapons of math instruction!"
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