I saw a sign at a roadside stand that read, ''Lobster Tails ยฃ1.5" so I stopped the car, walked over and handed my money to the proprietor. He looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath and said...

"Once upon a time there was this lobster..."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/simplyGagi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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If you have joint ownership of a shoe store, you're still a sole proprietor.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MelkorHimself
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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Last time I was in Paris...

...I went up to a newsstand that wasn't doing much business and asked the proprietor for a copy of Le Monde. I knew it would mean the world to him.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/President_Calhoun
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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5 puppies were stolen from the pet shop yesterday....

Police are warning people to look out for anyone selling hot dogs.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VERBERD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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A friend of of mine opened a business in South Korea.

Heโ€™s a Seoul proprietor.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jspittman
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18 2020
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A man walks into a pet store...

And asks the proprietor if she could recommend a bird cage. The shopkeeper replies that she has both plastic and metal varieties.

โ€œWell what kind of metal is used in the metal one?โ€ he asks?

โ€œIโ€™m not sure. Aluminum, I think,โ€ she responds.

โ€œDo you happen to know if it contains any nickel?โ€

โ€œNo, I donโ€™t believe it does,โ€ she answers, looking puzzled.

โ€œAh,โ€ says the man. โ€œSo what youโ€™re saying is that itโ€™s a nickel-less cage.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/darth-noxious
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 03 2020
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Eating fish makes you smarter

Youโ€™ve heard that eating fish makes you smarter? Well, hereโ€™s the proof!

A customer at the local grocery store marveled at the proprietorโ€™s quick wit and intelligence.

โ€œTell me, what makes you so smart?โ€ he asked the owner.

โ€œI wouldnโ€™t share my secret with just anyone,โ€ came the reply. Then, lowering his voice so the other shoppers wouldnโ€™t hear, he continued. โ€œBut since youโ€™re a good and faithful customer, Iโ€™ll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, youโ€™ll be positively brilliant.โ€

โ€œYou sell them here?โ€ the customer asked.

โ€œOnly $4 apiece,โ€ said the grocer.

The customer quickly bought three. A week later, he was back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he wasnโ€™t any smarter.

โ€œYou didnโ€™t eat enough,โ€ replied the store owner, and the customer went home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he was back and this time he was really angry.

โ€œHey,โ€ he said, โ€œYouโ€™re selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2.Youโ€™re ripping me off!โ€

โ€œYou see?โ€ replied the grocer.โ€œYouโ€™re smarter already.โ€

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/eating-fish-makes-you-smarter/

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tfraymond
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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God created humans.

God is a soul proprietor.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChristianoManu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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Husband is a new dad, and definitely has a new dad sense of humor.

We were walking around some vendors with friends at a fair, when they started looking at tutus for their 3 year old daughter. My husband walks right into the shop and asks the proprietor (in a rather loud voice), "I see you have tutus, do you have any oneones or threethrees in stock?" and then stood there proudly.

Many groans were had. (Except by one of the girls, who went into the back to check. I think she was just special.)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rainnthunder
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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