Why is it pronounced Bri ish?
Because they drank the t.
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︎ Apr 10 2021
The doctor told me my dad was pronounced dead today.
I told him I didnβt realize Iβve been saying it wrong all these years.
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︎ Apr 30 2021
Who do British people pronounce the word as Bri ish?
Because they drank all the tea
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︎ Feb 15 2021
If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian,
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︎ Jan 22 2021
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Chemist n Plumber
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︎ Mar 28 2021
I got some devastating news from the hospital today. My dad was pronounced dead.
I canβt believe Iβve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.
Edit: this joke was straight up stolen from professional comedian Nick Nemeroff. I heard it on the radio so I didnβt have his name handy and thought it was awesome for this sub and had to post it before I forgot it. Thanks to Nick for commenting here below so that I could give him credit.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
Whenever my artistic girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body....
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
π︎ 8k
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︎ Apr 12 2021
What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?
π︎ 10k
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is pronounced dead after colliding with a flock of seagulls and a 747 over Madrid.
Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Why cant bri'ish people pronounce t?
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︎ Dec 01 2020
If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", then shouldn't "bomb" be pronouncedβ¦
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︎ May 29 2020
I found this humerus
π︎ 4k
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Damn!
π︎ 13k
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︎ Jan 08 2021
What kind of chairs do they use in Ireland?
π︎ 639
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Why do British people not pronounce their t's?
They've drunken all of it already.
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︎ Sep 06 2020
Pawesome puns
π︎ 4k
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︎ Jan 22 2021
Should've becareful of your speech
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︎ Feb 04 2021
Ima start spelling weed ouiβd cos I canβt say no to it
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︎ Feb 21 2021
Why donβt British people pronounce the βTβ in British?
After the incident in Boston, they donβt want to lose their Tβs again.
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︎ Oct 31 2020
I canβt stand people who say data we all know itβs pronounced...
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︎ Jul 02 2020
Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest ΞΌ
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︎ Apr 28 2021
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
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︎ Oct 04 2020
My 8 year old just told me this one.. What does the minister say when you marry a computer?
I now pronounce you man and wifi.
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︎ Apr 25 2021
9yo shared this one with me: What do you call a cow who just had a baby?
De-calf-inated!
Edit: it's been pointed out some people pronounce calf as cΔlf, so its taking a second. Pronounce it like decaffeinated coffee.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
What did Tennessee?
π︎ 2k
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︎ Jan 31 2021
My mom said I should pronounce 'wrong' with the 'w'.
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 17 2020
How do you make antifreeze?
You take away her blanket
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︎ Mar 23 2021
How do you pronounce β©2000 in English?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
Why did the aspiring programmer buy a pair of glasses?
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︎ Apr 09 2021
According to ancient Japanese lore, your aura takes a particular colour when you die.
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︎ Feb 05 2021
What is the opposite of a croissant?
π︎ 9k
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Why did Pythagoras hate Reddit?
Because he loved Pi, not cake
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︎ Mar 26 2021
Arkansas is the only state mentioned in the Bible.
βNoah walked out onto the ark and saw....β
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Why is it pronounced Bri ish in Britain?
Because they drank the t.
π︎ 156
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Why it is pronounced bri ish?
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 09 2021
If pronouncing all my "V"s like "B"s, makes me sound Russian...
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︎ Sep 13 2020
If pronouncing my Bs as Vs makes me Russian
π︎ 32
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Why don't British people pronounce the T in British?
Because they already drank all the T!
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 22 2021
If pronouncing my 'b's' as 'v's' makes me sound Russian....
π︎ 58
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︎ Jan 31 2021
Why do we pronounce it βBriβishβ?
Because we drank the tea!
π︎ 19
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︎ Feb 06 2021
I was told that my dad was pronounced dead
I canβt believe Iβve been saying it wrong my whole life
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︎ Sep 18 2020
Wanna know why british people donβt pronounce the t in british?
Because they drank it all
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︎ Nov 18 2020
If pronouncing my Bβs as Vβs makes me sound russian...Then soviet.
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︎ Aug 25 2019
If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, then soviet.
π︎ 30k
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︎ Aug 27 2018
Bri ish
Why is it pronounced Bri ish?
Because they drank the t.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
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