"Look at what kids your age make in China!"
I said, “I know. This trebuchet is amazing. Go get our daughter.”
Because you can always be our bi-son, and even if you don't feel like shooting straight, we will always be trans-parent with you. You are loved.
It'll have anacondascending look on its face.
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book is going to lecture me.
Egosaurus
Gay pride
The other 6 deadly sins: :(
...because pride cometh before the fall.
Unless you are a cannibal lion
What a chicken.
An LGBT Queue
Because he has his pride
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”
He swallowed his pride.
5 guys are standing in a circle talking. One guy is on his phone and is reading an article.
He says “1 out of 5 guys are gay”
Someone says “I hope it’s Jim, he’s really cute.”
But I was expecting more lions.
Me: Not today, Dad.
My Dad: Give up. Let me tell you in his glorious beaming pride face
I use because, because, because is a conjunction.
He must first swallow his pride.
Because Pride comes before the Fall.
Because pride cometh before the Fall.
After months of wanting a Purple highlighter for my desk, I finally found one.
It was the highlight of my day.
He took this out of his wallet. Apparently he's been caring it around since the 80s: http://imgur.com/ri2NcWR. Making dad jokes before he was even a dad!
They called him Stanley Touché
They say "A man's pride is his downfall"
Not for me though. My lions are well fed.
"Hi pregnant, I'm dad"
I know it's been done before, and many a dad before me and many a dad after me will get to experience this, but in these dark times this was a ray of light that pierced me right to the core with joy.
I came home, and my bright and bubbly ballerina 6 year old runs up and says can I have a hug!?
She asks very tentatively because she knows I have been out all day and the routine is for me to grab a shower (COVID) before I let them get all over me.
So I say, not yet I'm dirty.
She says awww... then she turns to walk away, but then spins back around and looks at me dead in the eye and says:
Hi! um...
wait a sec,
um, I know um,
um, wait.... dir...
[Face beams the biggest smile of accomplishment]
Hi Dirty! I'm [daughter]!
I know we have those proud moments when they turn, but man her delivery, the awkwardness, and the sheer pride she beamed out when she realized she just pulled the reverse dad joke on me...
It's not the getting reverse dad'd, it's the joy and pride she had... she could have just graduated college, and that's how big her beaming smile was right then...
It's a memory I am going to keep and it really lit up this dark time.
I feel like I’m too good for it, and I have already decided it will be too preachy.
but how often do you see biannual parades?
Believe me, I'm not lion.
When I said yes he pulled a picture of the cleaning products "pride" and "joy". The man carries these pictures in his wallet at all times.
I was driving my daughter (10F) to her dance class. Although we have taken this route countless times before and she never said a word about it before, she did this time and said as she was looking out the window while driving by a particular area, "Why would anyone build a daycare next to a cemetery?"
Without thought, I said "I don't know, but I bet their neighbors are quiet"
There was a second or two pause and then she said "Daaaaaaad."
My chest puffed up with pride for several miles as I thought I had just crossed the line into Dad Jokedom!
He was consumed by pride.
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book will lecture me.
I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book will try to lecture me.
I said, “Yeah. The trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.”
Because the pride comes before the fall!
