Pontiac Puns

Spoiler Alert.

The Grand Yam.

On the way to the store he points and laughs.

"Ha! That's illegal"

I look where he points and it is a Pontiac Torrent...

"So there is pontiac. Porsche. Packard.. You know what a Packard is, dont ya? Or is that a little before your time? How old are you? So you know what it is then, right?" So he sets up the joke incorrectly by not giving me a chance to name any. But to him, this joke is SO funny, there is no way to make it unfunny. ".. well none of them because they all start with gas." Then he turns and acts like he is about to walk out of the store, like he dropped the proverbial mic. So I feign a half smile & say "yep. Gas. Thats a good one."

We were driving down a Texas road late at night in my Dads' 72 Pontiac Grand Prix when a bug spalts on the windshield. The kind that makes a thud and leaves a two inch puddle of elongated goo. Without turning his attention from the road my Dad asked:

"You know what the last thing was to go through that bugs mind ?"

Suddenly, expecting some philosophical insight my father had into death I quietly asked "What?"

My Dad takes a drag on his Winston, exhales, and still never looking away from the road says: "His ass."

Radio Jockey Randy : Okay caller, here is the final question for $5,000 cash.

Contestant : I’m ready, Randy!

Radio Jockey Randy : Name three automobiles that start with ‘P’.

Contestant : Uh ... Porsche, Pontiac and Plymouth!

Radio Jockey Randy : Oh, I’m sorry contestant, those all start with GAS!

Context: Conversation between Friend 1 and Friend 2 about Friend 1's Pontiac Aztek

F1: "Hey, my car doesn't have a flippy gas cover thing, is it supposed to have one?"

F2: "I don't know actually, I'm not an expert on Aztecs, I'm more of an Inca kinda guy."