My 35-year boycott of Ferrari's and Lamborghini's is still going strong!

And will continue until they lower the price.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vole182
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I wouldn't let my newborn work on my Ferrari's engine

He doesn't have fine motor skills

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjo_kes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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So proud of my daughter! We’re watching the dog desperately trying to get the cat to play with her. Me: β€œDog can’t hang because she’s a dump truck and and the cat is a Ferrari. Daughter:

Don’t you mean a β€œFur-rari”?

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ‘€︎ u/Epic_pale
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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There's only 2 reasons I don't let my girlfriend drive my Ferrari ...
  1. I don't have a Ferrari

  2. I don't have a girlfriend.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Just reversed into a Ferrari.

But I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling me.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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Why did the snail paint the letter β€˜S’ on his new Ferrari?

So everyone would see him driving and say

β€œLook at that escargot!”

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ‘€︎ u/atom644
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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"I want two new wheels for my Ferrari" I said to the shop asisstant

He replied "that's a good trade'

πŸ‘︎ 194
πŸ‘€︎ u/nuttshaw_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
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What do you get when you remove all the iron from a Ferrari?

A rrari

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
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What do you call a Ferrari that got in an accident?

Al Dente.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ‘€︎ u/benska
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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Accidentally drove into the back of a Ferrari, dwarf got out and said he was not happy.

Me: which one are you then?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ‘€︎ u/Prodders
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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Doctor: I think your DNA is backwards.

ME: ...And?

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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My sister bet me $15 that i couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face as i drove pasta.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ‘€︎ u/avianthon
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Little Johnny was going door to door asking his neighbors if they needed any yard work done.

When he got to old man Johnson’s house the old man said β€œMy yard doesn’t need any work, but my porch is in need of a coat of paint. I’ll pay you 50 bucks, and if you finish by sundown I’ll throw in a 50 dollar bonus”.

With a confused look on his face little Johnny accepted the offer and got to work.

Less than an hour later little Johnny knocked on old man Johnson’s door to collect his hundred dollars.

β€œAll finished, that’ll be one hundred dollars”!

Noticing there wasn’t a single drop of paint on the porch the old man started quizzing little Johnnys integrity.

β€œNow little Johnny, are you absolutely positively one hundred percent sure you finished painting my porch”?

β€œI sure am! Oh and by the way that’s not a porch, it’s a Ferrari”!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/plmcalli
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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My dad told me this joke when I was 12...

A little kid and his dad were walking past a shop one day when the kid spies a bright red tricycle in the store window. The kid starts to beg his dad for the it, saying that he never wanted anything more than that tricycle and that he would never be bad again. The dad simply asks the kid, "Can your dick touch your ass?". The kid, disarmed, just says "No." to his dad, who responds "Too bad, then." and continues walking.

A few years later, the kid (now a teenager) and his dad were driving past a motorcycle dealership. The kid takes one look at a beautiful Panhead sitting outside and begins begging his dad for the motorcycle. The dad just looks at his kid again and asks, "Can your dick touch your ass?". The kid, who had forgotten the tricycle until then, just responds with "No." His dad just chuckles and says "Too bad, then."

Fast forward another few years, the kid is now an adult coming home from his last year at college to see his folks. The first thing he does when he sees his dad is put on a great, big grin and ask him "Hey Pops! Can I get a Ferrari?". His dad, again, asks him "Can your dick touch your ass?", but this only makes the kid smile even wider. The kid responds with an enthusiastic "You betcha!", beaming right at his dad.

The dad just stares blankly at his son for a little while and tells him:

"Then you can go fuck yourself."

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brohanwashere
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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My drivers Ed teacher got us pretty good

Kid in class: Coach are we whipping the Ferraris today? Coach: No whips just nae-naes Class: moans disappointedly

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/MustyNutz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2016
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Overheard at a car dealership. "What kind of car do you have now?"

"I have a Wishitwasa."


"Yeah, Wishitwasa Ferrari... Wishitwasa a Mercedes... Wishitwasa a Jaguar... a Wishitwasa."

Followed by a short sigh and, "I'll take whatever I can afFORD."

The ole' dad joke twofer.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/probablynotfamous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2015
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My wife can even make dad jokes!

I was telling her about a $10,000 scissor lift that ferrari dealers have to buy to work on the Ferrari Enzo.

Me: "To even change the oil, the dealer has to buy that lift to get the car up to working height."

Wife: "That sounds like some expensive overhead."

Me: High five

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/ponyflash
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2014
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Why did the snail paint an β€˜S’ on his Ferrari?

So that everyone would say say β€œLook at that escargot.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/Doom1234321
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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