My political puns are tariffable.
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︎ Jun 15 2019
Political puns
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︎ May 25 2019
Political pun: What does it look like when a government contractor flies the coop?
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︎ Nov 01 2014
The Trump White House is so polite these days.
Everyone there is saying βPardon meβ all the time now.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
I'm worried that the supreme court will lack empathy now that Ginsburg is gone.
Without her they're ruthless.
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Which is the most polite food in the world?
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Politics is the most accurate word in the English language
Poly = many.
Ticks = blood sucking parasites.
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︎ Nov 14 2020
The political climate is so polarizing these days that even Do, Re and Mi decided to form their own independent left leaning musical scale and vote Democratic.
When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
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︎ May 14 2020
I usually stay out of politics, but - and this is a big but - ...
>!https://imgur.com/xDwJi0C!<
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︎ Nov 10 2020
I donβt like discussing North and South in polite company.
I find those topics to be quite polarizing.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Credit to @comicsbyandy for this political cartoon that also has a pun
https://preview.redd.it/juu01g2we3s51.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=363c4e4cc3b0dd44ac8193dcdb74ee01bc854813
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︎ Oct 09 2020
Haha
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Since his political career is almost over the US vice president is starting his own soda company.
It's called Pence-a-cola.
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︎ Oct 08 2020
I got a warning message from a mod saying βmy jokes are bringing to much religion and politics into this subβ
I replied saying βlet the people in this sub decide, for christ sakeβ
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︎ Nov 02 2020
The people serving me at restaurants are super polite even when I take the longest time to order
I guess that's why they are called waiters
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︎ Nov 07 2020
What's the new hip political ideology?
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︎ Sep 29 2020
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name...
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︎ Aug 22 2020
What Sith Lord immobilizes his victims instead of killing them?
Darth Ritis.
Edit: The Sith Lord of politeness, Darth anksalot.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Too political for me
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︎ Feb 12 2020
Among all the politically incorrect jokes I know, hereβs my favourite:
Benjamin Franklin was the greatest US President.
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︎ Mar 22 2020
What bacteria like to have political meetings?
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︎ Aug 23 2020
I'm pretty far on the left politically but I'm not involved in any activism
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︎ Aug 05 2020
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
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︎ Jun 05 2020
The problem with political jokes...
They sometimes get elected.
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︎ Jul 12 2020
I dont want political comments. Just enjoy the pun
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︎ Jun 15 2020
What does Ariana Grande say to her boyfriend when breaking up on Thanksgiving?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Too political?
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︎ May 07 2020
Just a quick apology to those Take That fans I offended earlier.
Whatever I said, whatever I did
I didn't mean it.
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︎ Nov 15 2020
What do anti-police protesters use to move around in New York City?
A cab
(It came to mind and I have no wish for it to be political)
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Iβve just had a very polite drink. β¬
βͺIt was mostly cordial. β¬
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︎ Jun 27 2020
It wasnβt much fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago.
But now I can look back and laugh.
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︎ Aug 24 2020
I used to understand politics like the back of my hand
But now I dont know my left from my right
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︎ Jun 15 2020
At a nudist camp a couple were sitting discussing politics.
The lady asked "have you read Marx?"
"Yes" the man replied, "I think they're from the wicker chairs."
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︎ Jun 03 2020
A buddy asked me how many fish I caught
I told him it's not polite to fish and tell
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︎ Nov 06 2020
How do you get a demon to wipe the condensation off your windshield?
Just ask him politely with a sqouija board.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
I'm technically an uncle, but my niece laughed so...
Did you hear about the Cockatiel that was trying to find a new home for his family? He zipped back and forth everywhere, but couldn't find a good spot anywhere. Then he came across a bear, sleeping flat of his back with his mouth wide open. Not recognizing what it was, he thought the bear's mouth would be the perfect spot for a nest. He gathered his family and they all got to work building a new home for themselves, but then the bear woke up. Realizing what was going on, he politely informed them that he couldn't let them nest in his mouth. He hated to do it, but it was quite the bird den to bear.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Why don't you bring up politics or religion around pirates?
Because they love to arrr-gue and never sea eye-to-eye(patch)
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︎ Apr 18 2020
My 11yo daughter just made up a joke. What do politicians thing of themselves?
That they're politicool...
Im biased but i think its genius
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︎ Mar 04 2020
One of my friends recently told me heβs bored and looking for a fun new hobby. I suggested getting involved in political protesting.
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︎ Jun 03 2020
I have a few jokes about unemployed people..
but unfortunately none of them work.
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︎ Jul 25 2020
My keyboard is very political
It even has the alt right
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︎ May 26 2020
Office Politics
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︎ Dec 07 2019
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