A list of puns related to "Acracy"
I'm just wondering if I should be extra careful when misting around the area of my hydrometer probe. I had one of thoes shitty 10$ spedometer looking ones, and it started reading inaccurate within a month or so. I recently purchased a pretty nice digital one that has a temperature probe and a humidity probe on it. I mist my tank 3 times a day and want to know of I should be extra carful when spraying around the 2 I mean I never try and directly spray it but there's definitely times that they get hit with a little sprits and get a little wet, making the humidity spike to 99 for a little bit and the temp will drop. I feel like water could defenetly break the temperature probe but isn't the humidity supposed to measure moisture so if it gets alot on it that shouldn't break it is my best guess. Let me know if any of y'all have knowledge in this.
I'm a term employee currently, and left my private sector job to do a (lower level) position.
My pay is pretty terrible, and phoenix gives me headaches every other pay. I'm in the regions and we are chronically understaffed and nobody has ever gotten a raise without switching to an Ottawa team.
I'm someone who likes to do work but everything has 8 layers of beau acracy and it's really hard to keep track of everything. It feels like things are always on fire, so even though I don't worry after 4pm about work, it's not a happy experience thinking of how behind everything is.
I know the pension is great, but I don't plan on using things like parental leave. My old employer is calling me back, and offering 50% more than I'm making now.
My last job wasn't perfect, and the main reason I left was the pay. Other than working from home and "a job for life" I don't see a lot of benefits in the public service but maybe I'm missing some?
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
I guess the concept didn't work
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when itβs raining in Sweden?
Ants donβt even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
Mathematical puns makes me number
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
He lost May
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
And now Iβm cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But thatβs comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Christopher Walken
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