I was briefly considering one of those ice plunge experiences.

But I got cold feet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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I designed a new toilet but cannot find anyone to test it out.

No one gives a crap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greedydita
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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Aww man. Did you hear that Johnson and Johnson messed up the their vaccine?

Well at least they took a stab at it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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I tried clog dancing this weekend.

Unfortunately the Drano kept burning my feet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoruusSkywalker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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My toilet told me it needed to be plunged

But I knew it was full of crap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrisonMike1111
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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How do Eskimos enter an Igloo?

They get inuit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Stock markets plunge over Coronavirus fears, some portfolios hit more than others..

... Mainly Spread markets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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I always hate having to unblock the toilet

I’m never quite ready to take the plunge

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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Are you gonna get the vaccine?

You should take the plunge, it's your best shot at not getting infected.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RockMe-Amadeus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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My toilet had to get plunged i guess you can say

I have a shitty problem

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imthenoah00
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
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You guys hear about the depressed plumber?

He’s going through a lot of crap right now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyGuyE
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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Afraid of heights

Plumbers are afraid of heights because they fear plunging to their death.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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So my plumber is doing this Christmas-time ballet....

He's calling it the Buttcracker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunn_with_this
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2017
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A plumber crack

Why are plumbers scared of heights?

They are afraid they will plunge to their death.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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That toilet was really hard to unclog!

I had to plunge the shit out of it!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mich_Kapeesh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, β€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, β€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: β€œA pun is the lowest form of humorβ€”when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, β€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zil2mz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
🚨︎ report

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