The pharmacist says “but you’re a duck, how are you going to pay for that?”
The duck says “it’s fine, just put it on my bill”
"Cash or charge?"
The duck replies, "Nah....Just put it on my bill!"
So I gave him a taste of his own medicine.
Most of what I say to patients is ingest.
In the dram-attic.
Ashley Medicine
All my RX's live in Texas.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motrins
Do you think he would like a Pilsner?
When I got there, I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter. The Pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me. I said, “Yes! Could you please taste this for me?” Being I’m a Senior Citizen, I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me. He picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around. Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing, gagging and turning green. When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye asked, “Now, does that taste sweet to you?” The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, “HELL NO!!!” So I said, “Oh thank God! That’s such a relief! My Doctor told me to have a Pharmacist test my Urine for sugar!”
bronco-die-laters
I'm going to have my ashes grown into an ash tree, with a grave stone that reads "he was dying to be grown this way" and in the back it will read "that pun was a grave mistake"
Them: Ammonia cleaner?
Me: oh sorry I thought you were the pharmacist.
Now my pharmacist labels all my prescriptions "BY MOUTH ONLY".
I was doing a maternity shoot for a nice family expecting their second. The dad is a pharmacist. I told him that I was never very good at chemistry, but one time I read a book about helium and I could NOT put it down.
One’s a pharmacist and the other’s a farm assist
Looks like I’m not cut out to be a pharmacist
He asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any cepacol lozenges? I'm a little hoarse"
- ARBITRAITOR A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
- BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage.
- BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through
- AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do
- EYEDROPPER Clumsy ophthalmologist
- CONTROL A short, ugly inmate.
- COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
- ECLIPSE What an English barber does for a living.
- LEFT BANK What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
- HEROES What a man in a boat does
- PARASITES What you see from the Eiffel Tower
- PARADOX Two physicians
- PHARMACIST A helper on a farm
- POLARIZE What penguins see through
- PRIMATE Remove your spouse from in front of TV
- RELIEF What trees do in the spring
- RUBERNECK What you do to relax your wife
- SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does
- SUDAFED Brought litigation against a government official
- PARADIGMS 20 cents
And I'm prescribed Norcos
I look at the bottle and look at my pharmacist and ask, "What did Aquaman do when he was cold?"
Blank stare.
"He put a hydrocodon". Then I shake the bottle.
The groan was real.
Looks like I’ll never be a pharmacist
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ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds
-
AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do
-
BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage
-
BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with
-
CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate
-
COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
-
ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living
-
EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist
-
HEROES: What a guy in a boat does
-
LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money
-
MISTY: How golfers create divots
-
PARADOX: Two physicians
-
PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
-
PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm
-
POLARIZE: What penguins see with
-
PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
-
RELIEF: What trees do in the spring
-
RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife
-
SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does
-
SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official
