What do you call a pregnant person in a suit of armour?
I just learned Albert Einstein was a real person.
All this time i thought he was a theoretical physicist.
Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
My wife told me I’ve grown as a person
Her actual word were “you’ve gotten fat”, but I know what she meant.
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who is a personal trainer?
What award should the person get who invented knock knock jokes?
To the person who stole my Microsoft Office license.
I'm gonna find you. You have my word.
Who was the 1st person to win the Nobel Prize?
Same person who invented the Door Knock...
And elon took that personally...
What do you call it when a deaf person faceplants in quicksand?
Why do type-A personalities like to camp?
They are already in-tents.
I mean a deaf person with one arm the other day...
The conversation was pretty one-sided.
What do you call a drunk person staggering along a street on their way home trying not to step on the cracks in the pavement?
A chemist froze himself to -273.15°C and everyone called him crazy but personally,
What's the difference between a horribly dressed person on a two wheeler and a nicely dressed person on a three wheeler?
What did the tomato say to the person who was about to eat him?
I hate you from my head to-ma-toes.
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
I personally want to see Radigascar
My girlfriend broke up with me when she walked in on me making out with my personal trainer
She said "This isn't working out."
My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept using the same machine at the gym
It was the vending machine
I'd like to personally thank the inventor of the mini skirt...
My balls have never felt so free.
You should never bother a fat person at a buffet..
They’ve got a lot on their plate..
Warning...."To the person who stole my glasses....."
"I'll find you....I have contacts."
A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
I HATE HOW FUNERALS ARE ALWAYS AT 9AM
I'm not really a mourning person 😔
Person to my dad “How long have you been married?”
Dad: “10 of the happiest years of my life”
(They’ve been married 43 years)
What's the difference between a stolen miniature diorama for your personal library and an incredibly surprising but cliched erotic fantasy about Peregrin of the shire?
One is a shelf insert book nook for fiction fans that you took and the other is a self-insert fan fiction took book that got you shook.
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
I have a plan for a new side-hustle. I’m gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded ‘Lola’ and ‘You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...
I just have to work out a few Kinks.
Why did the non-binary prospector head out West?
Because there was gold in them/their hills!
What do you get if you mix a dumb person with a donut?
Kinder Person Award goes to...
A blind man walks into a bar
And then a table...
And then a chair...
What do you call a person who can't hear?
You can call him anything cause he won't able to hear you.
What does a person who fakes injuries like to drink?
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person
I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
I just found out that Einstein was a real person...
I always thought he was a theoretical physicist.
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person.
This whole time I thought he was just a theoretical physicist...
To the person who stole my Microsoft Office key.
Im gonna find you. You have my word.
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person.
I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist.
Today I learned that Albert Einstein was a real person...
...I had always thought he was just a theoretical physicist.
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
I'm not a dog person or a cat person. I'm both.
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