Batteries have split personalities
On the one side, they are positive, while on the other, they are negative
Her personality is like a box of Tide
All it does is deter gents
I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.
I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he won’t do that.
How a carpenter describes his personality on a dating app
I used to suffer from multiple personality disorder,
I have an Irish friend with a great personality that always bounces off the walls.
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
What is SpongeBob’s least desirable personality trait?
I tried learning about all the different kinds of aircraft but I quickly found out girls didn’t like that basic personality trait
They thought I was such a plane guy
Doctor : "It seems like you have multiple personality disorder"
I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on high conflict personalities I'd ordered still wasn't in.
"It's not our fault" said the librarian,
"That's the one" I replied.
Woke up with this joke from a dream I had last night. “What personality trait is the most cleansing?”
There are 4 sides to my brother’s personality.
That being said, the guy is pretty square.
What do you call a banana with multiple personality disorder?
I worked with a guy with pultiple personality disorder once
"I hate having MPD" said Tom, being frank.
A woman who lived next door to a preacher was puzzled by his personality change in the pulpit.
At home he was shy, quiet and retiring, but in the church he was a real fire and brimstone orator, rousing the masses in the name of God. It was as if he was two different people.
One day she asked him about the dramatic transformation that came over him when he preached.
"Ah," he said, "That's my altar ego."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have multiple personalities
Now he has a colourful personality!
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
My wife told me I have a magnetic personality.
I wasn't sure if that's a positive or a negative.
What kind of personality does a gluestick have?
My knees have different personalities
My left knee is the boring knee. My other knee is the fun knee
Did you hear about the radio personality who murdered his only son while broadcasting because he didn't want him to receive any inheritance?
There was a lot of Dead heir on that show.
In the capital of Taiwan I met so many Taipei personalities.
Sometimes when houses have personality disorders...
What do you call someone with a very colorful personality?
What do you get when you have two Type A personalities fighting?
Why can't a cyclops have multiple personality disorder?
Because it has only one I.
Asked my dad to take the Myers-Briggs personality test
He said his result was ARSE.
What do you call it when a priest has multiple personality disorder?
They've got an altar ego.
Vampires must have really shallow personalities.
Because they are non-reflective.
I was at the mall the other day, and I overheard two women talking about someone they know who has narcissistic personality disorder.
I'm pretty sure they were talking about me.
New Friend Personality Test
ME: Hey, did you hear about the celebrity who got stabbed at a restaurant?
New Friend: No! Who was it?
ME: Reese... Reese...something...
NF: Witherspoon?
ME: No, no, it was with a knife...
I have a multi-personality disorder
Did you hear that Lionel Richie's wife has multiple personality disorder?
Apparently she is once, twice, three times a lady!
"I have a split personality disorder"
“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being Frank.
I have a split personality
"I have a split personality"
"I have a split personality."
...said Tom, being frank.
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