Performed Puns

A list of puns related to "Performed"

i saw Michael Jackson's performed once

It was a Thriller

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👤︎ u/Slymood
📅︎ Oct 15 2020
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Scientists recently performed an experiment to figure out the gender of an ant. They would place them in a tub of water.

If they sank, girl ant. If they floated, buoyant.

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👤︎ u/TuttsMcGee
📅︎ Sep 02 2020
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“Doctor how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?”

“All my autopsies are performed on dead people!”

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👤︎ u/cwwspurs
📅︎ Sep 13 2020
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I saw a magic trick performed at synagogue

Silly Rabbi, tricks are for kids

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👤︎ u/hotsprings1234
📅︎ Sep 06 2020
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What did the Spanish speaking magician say right before he performed his vanaishing trick?

"Uno, dos..."

And then POOF! He disappeared.

Without a tres.

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👤︎ u/finestjuggler
📅︎ Jul 26 2019
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What do you call magic tricks performed by dads?

Patrick

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👤︎ u/invisible_being
📅︎ Jan 22 2020
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Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coroner’s office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.

. Mama fly looked into baby fly’s eyes and said,

“Nobody puts baby in a coroner”

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👤︎ u/boogerknows
📅︎ Oct 11 2019
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I once performed stand up in a prison...

What a captive audience!

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👤︎ u/JamWat23
📅︎ Jan 15 2019
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I’m going to finance a theatrical production performed on a stage covered in pages from the dictionary.

It will be a play on words.

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👤︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
📅︎ Aug 03 2018
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What did the duck police do when they performed a huge cocaine bust?

They quacked down on drug crime

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👤︎ u/ChazyLamy
📅︎ May 21 2018
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Has there ever been a classical music group that only performed where they are hidden from view of the audience?

They would be playing Hayden go-seek.

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👤︎ u/irl_lulz
📅︎ May 08 2018
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What band performed for The Incredible Hulk's birthday?

Green Day

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Jul 18 2018
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He arrived mysteriously. He helped, performed miracles, died, got resurrected, and went back to the heavens.

E.T. (1982) A Hollywood classic

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ May 31 2018
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A new surgeon performed a cholecystectomy.

Now that takes gall.

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👤︎ u/ScottyUrb
📅︎ Mar 05 2018
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