The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.

That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_CockLord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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I once did a theater performance on puns...

It was a play on words

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryolithicdd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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I used a performance enhancer in the bedroom with my wife last night.

I wore a blindfold.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Did you hear about the opera singer who faked every performance?

Placebo Domingo

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bdean42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Why shouldn't you let kids watch big band performances on TV?

Too much sax and violins.

πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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What is the difference between an art installation and performance art?

Crap on your neighbors doorstep then ring the doorbell - that's an art installation.

Ring the doorbell THEN crap on his doorstep - that's performance art.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdb12345
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Viagra is now available in a teabag format. It doesn't improve your performance...

....but it stops your biscuit from getting soft..

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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I have been working on the most illogical street performance act...

It makes no cents.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnykelly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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I was watching a live performance when the floor gave way and one of the actors fell through. My wife asked if I thought they were ok.

I said I’m sure they’re fine, it’s just a stage they’re going through.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Just figured I’d announce that I’ll be doing a theatrical performance on puns later this week.

It’s a play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VictorHelios1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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For my next performance I will sort out my checking account while on a high wire

It’s a balancing act

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Someone told me of this alcholic guys ghost that got fired from his haunting job for poor performance.

Apparently, he couldn't handle his boos.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheB0yW0nder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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You might not like it, but this is what beak performance looks like...
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poven100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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After getting a lot of negative reviews due to their rather poor string section, the LAPD Police Band decided to lose all the strings from their performances.

It was finally the long-awaited end of police violins.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OlaviVirtahepo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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What do you call a comedy performance done by a paraplegic?

I don’t know, but it’s not stand up.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mom2israel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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What performance do get out of a Kia with a flat tire?

Sub-Optima

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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My dad lost his job at the sausage factory today. They told him at his performance review...

You're the wurst

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/byte_marx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Over the weekend I took my wife to the theatre to see a performance that was all about puns.

It was a play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunselpower
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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"German talent show contestants puts string of sausages up her bum" .. this performance was the wurst
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowenpa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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Did you hear about the professional skier who started to use performance enhancing drugs?

He went downhill real fast.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RicoCat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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I went to a theatrical performance about the dictionary

Thought I would have more fun, but it was really just a play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NickOneTen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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The orchestra's performance wad canceled right after the last rehearsal was done.

It was quite disconcerting to everyone.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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If you yell, β€œEncore!” at the end of a drum line performance...

... be ready to deal with the re-percussions.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamundan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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My mime friend's best performance is when he acts like a piece of paper...

He remains stationary.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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I knew a lead actor who really did "break a leg" when he slipped off the stage during his performance.

He had a really great cast.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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The Polar Vortex forced them to cancel tonight's performance of Hamilton in Chicago.

Once again, brrr killed Hamilton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NatrixHasYou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Who wants to see a performance by shadow puppets?

Let's have a show of hands!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_snipeypants
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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I hate people who watch street performances but never give the artists any money.

But then I’m a mime, so I can’t really talk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
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The company's performance was so abysmal that it quickly became the joke of Wall Street.

They called it a laughingstock.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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A free performance by the singer of U2 is

Pro Bono

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSDifferentDay
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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Last night I watched a performance of the accapella group from the nearby army base.

It has Major problems.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
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Did you hear about the hammer's performance at work?

He nailed it!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cfunman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances

That's playgarism if you ask me

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DuckDonuts12
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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I went to see a mime improv the other day and the performance was spectacular

It goes without saying

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
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What fish does an orchestra need before a performance?

A tuna

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/summinspicy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
🚨︎ report
My school did a theatre performance on the alphabet.

It was called "a play on words".

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
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After my performance at the shooting gallery, the coach said, "Take a bow."

"Shooting isn't your cup of tea," he continued, "You better switch to archery."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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I used to know a guitarist who would eat shellfish before each performance

It was the clam before the strum.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conmanau
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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Wednesday night's performance of Hamilton in Chicago was cancelled due to extreme weather.

Once again, Brrrrr killed Hamilton.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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If Oprah created a career-defining musical performance around green vegetables...

It would be Oprah's Okra Opera Opus

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnivyXiang
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.

That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_CockLord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I once did a theatrical performance about puns.

It was a play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tardegrades
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I once did a theatrical performance on puns

It was a play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VictorHelios1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm taking part in a theatrical performance about puns

It's a play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brosthetic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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What do you call a stage performance about a dictionary?

A play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stouthelm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
🚨︎ report

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