How do celestial bodies start getting ready for a party?
A friend and I were discussing a TV show and they said that the 32nd episode is undoubtedly the greatest.
Upon rewatching the episode I was shocked to find it was 30 minutes long.
When I moved into my igloo, my friends threw me a house warming party
Have you ever wondered how astronauts throw such great parties?
'Cause they take their time to planet.
What vegetables have the best parties?
The surface of the earth is approx 70% water. None of it is carbonated.
Proving the earth is flat.
From my 7yo Nephew, Why should you always bring toilet paper to gatherings?
For all the party poopers!
Why don’t British people pronounce T’s
The man that gets shot from a cannon at the circus just retired after 20 years.
They'll have a hard time finding another man of that caliber.
If the scientists throw a party, the chemists bring the booze, the engineer sets up a beer pong table, and the botanist brings the weed. What does the astronomer do?
Ok, I get why the kids love this
Why wasn't the scuba diver invited to the company's executive beach party?
Because he was below C-level.
What does a voldemort Cosplay party look like?
My waiter couldn’t find my table when he was bringing me my food.
I think my cat might be a Chinese communist.
No matter what question I ask it, it always seems to think the answer is "Mao".
Have you heard about the political party that's using really good weed to promote their political views and opinions?
My dad literally just said this to me.
Dad: Whatcha reading?
Me: Just Reddit
Dad: Well if you already read it why are you reading it again?! (Nudges me) Get it?? Hahahaha
Me: (rolls eyes) Ha.Ha.
How does NASA organize a party?
Why is it cheaper to throw a party at a haunted house?
Because the ghosts bring all the boos!
A girl asked me if I wanted to have dinner tonight.
I like to have dinner every night.
Does this pun believe here ?
I identify as a man, my birth certificate says I’m a man, everybody I know says I’m a man...
and yet according to Kraft Dinner, I’m a 4-person family
A communism joke isn’t funny
I broke up with my boyfriend because I realised he’s a communist
Now that I look back, there were a lot of red flags
What do you call a fear of giants?
Feefiphobia
Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.
You organize it... the milky way :)
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name...
I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.
Good players are hard to find.
What did the egg say to the house party?
British people be like: I'm bri ish
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out
I was caught cheating in a big tongue-twister tournament
The judge is bound to give me a tough sentence
Just happened. My kids are running around blowing a party noise marker. My wife's sister says " it sounds like an elephant in there"
I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."
My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.
EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)
Dad, that man accused you and Mom of being something called pyromaniacs. Is that true?
“Officer, are you crying while you are writing me a ticket?”
Cop: It’s a...moving violation.
Cold shoulder on a cannibal feast
What did Tigger see when he looked in the toilet?
What do waiters and DJ’s have in common?
Their job is to turn tables.
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw a house warming party
How do you organize a space party ?
How do you organise a space party?
How do you have a party in Space??
How do you throw a party in space?
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