I was group messaging both my parents.
me: the Smithsonian panda cam is back up
dad: I'm just absolutely thrilled.
me: you should be
mom: unlike your father, I am very happy
dad: Katie (my mom's name), you're just panda-ring to her.
After neither my mom nor I responded to the joke, he continued with: nobody liked by punda
I've been bamboozled!
Because all he does is eats, shoots and leaves
Feed it bambooze.
You just got bamboozled.
...Guess you could say the zoo keeper got bamboozled!
Everyone knows a panda eats shoots and leaves.
A panda walks into a bar one day. He casually walks to the bar and sits on a bar stool.
The bartender thinks this is a bit odd, a panda walking into a bar isn’t something that normally happens to him.
He approaches the panda regardless and asks, “What can I get you?”
The panda grabs a menu off the bar, opens it and points to a cheeseburger.
The bartender is very impressed by this and so he decides to go ahead and make the cheeseburger for the panda.
The panda gets his cheeseburger, devours it, savoring every last bit. He then wipes its mouth with a napkin, impressing the bartender even more.
But then suddenly the panda pulls out a gun and shoots everyone in the bar, except for the bartender.
The bartender stands there in total shock, soaked in blood, and can only ask the panda, “Why?”
The panda pulls a dictionary from his fur coat and turns to the bartender. He flips the book to the P section, places it on the bar, and points to his picture. Then he turns and walks out the door without looking back.
The bartender leans down and reads the entry next to Panda. It says…
“Panda: A wild animal that eats, shoots and leaves.”
That’s why it’s called a “Pandemic”.
A pandamic.
You just don't get surprised, you also get bamboozled
You bamboozle them
In order to spell Panda, all you need is p and a.
Bamboozled!
He gobbles some beer nuts, then pulls out a pistol, fires it in the air, and heads for the door.
“Hey!” shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, “I’m a panda! Google me!”
“A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
Then it could be the panda Mick of 2020.
Their Bam-boo.
It's panda-moan-ium.
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
He goes up to the bartender and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, then takes out a gun, shoots the piano player, and goes to walk out.
The bartender says what the heck are you doing?
I'm a panda. It's what I do. Look it up.
So the bartender gets out his dictionary. You know, for settling bets. You didn't have a problem with the piano player, just go with it.
So, sure enough, there it is in the dictionary.
Panda bear, noun. Not a true bear, eats shoots and leaves.
Because it causes pandemix
I've been bamboozled!
It causes a panda-monium
He becomes a skadouchebag
Po-ems
Needless to say... he was bamboozled
There was complete pandamonium
...but I keep finding all of these MSGs in my fortune cookies.
She was a real bamboozler...
A gummy Bear
Pandemonium.
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
He eats shoots and leaves
