Ornamental Tree Puns

Because he died on the toilet

The Decoration of Independence

It is very highly decorated.

Dad: "So is your tree going to be facing a wall?"

Me: "Yeah, a wall and a window"

D: "Put all your ornaments on the side facing the wall..."

M: "Go on."

D: "Then, you can tell all your friends that you have a balls to the wall Christmas tree."

D: giggles in success

The kids need shoes so we all get dragged to the store. The Christmas trees (already! for crying ou...) in the kids section has got "homemade" ornaments like these.

http://imgur.com/a/CTEuA

My oldest comes up to me and says "Hey daddy, it's a strawberry tree." and I'm like "Strawberry? come on, a blueberry tree at least." and then he goes "No, a STRAWberry, geddit, STRAWberry."

Yes, son. Wipes tear Yes I do geddit.

We had just finished setting up the tree, and she went through the ornaments picking out the ones she liked so I just went and sat on the couch.

While digging through the ornaments she came across a Nativity Scene ornament and exclaimed "Oh no! Jesus is missing!" to which I replied "Don't worry, just check again in three days."

My grandparents on my dad's side would always have my brother and I over for Christmas when we were younger (around when I was 5-10 and my brother was 9-14). They always had a little tree in addition to their big one. The small tree had a bunch of those stereotypical ornaments (round, plain, solid color) in a bunch of different colors. My brother and I would always have fun counting the number of a specific color of ornament separately, then comparing our answers. However, every time we would, we would get different answers, so we'd recount, then get different answers again!

Anyway, just this last year (me being 18, my brother being 22), we reminded our grandfather of this. He laughed, said he remembered it, then said "well, why don't you count up the red ones again, see what you get? I'll tell you if you're right."

We agreed, and got to it. We each counted 3 times separately, then compared, then decided to average them. We got around 24 for the red ones, so went to tell our grandpa. After saying we weren't sure, we asked how many there were. He laughed and said "Darn, I don't know! I was hoping you guys could get a number so I wouldn't have to!"

Not that funny when retold, but it was hilarious then

Mom hangs up ornament on tree different ornament falls Mom: "My god this was not hung properly!" Dad: "Well at least I'm hung properly"

Today at work, my co-worker and I are decorating the group home we are working in for Christmas. As she finishes decorating the tree, she asks;

Her: The tree looks nice. I don't want to put the rest of the ornaments on it though, cause it'll look clutter. What should we do?

Me: Well... we can always deck the halls?

Followed by lots of laughing while she face palmed and walked out the room.