How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb

Is it 1 or 2

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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I am opening a rock'n'roll-themed Opticians.

I'm going to call it Johnny C Goode.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arlinconio
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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Did you hear about the optician who made the biggest pair of glasses in the world?

It was a huge spectacle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bang-a-lore
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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What did the pirate say to his optician?

Me eye hurties

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoccoDesta
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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For Xmas I bought my friend a gift voucher for the opticians.

Just a little something to help her see in the New Year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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I went to the opticians yesterday and she asked to sing a high note when I asked why, she told me

β€œSo we know if you can C#”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brian_mayonnaise
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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When the optician messed up my appointment...

I didn't look at her the same way again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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How many opticians does it take to change a light bulb?

One…or two? One…or two?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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I've just got some new glasses, and when I first put them on, I could see tiny little people with wings at the end of the garden. I rang my optician to report the problem, but he said it was completely normal with these glasses...

They're fairyfocals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Do you know who I bumped into at the opticians

Everybody

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xcatboyx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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I have to see my Optician today.

Hopefully he says my vision is 2020.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadowWolf-556
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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My optician has just told me I'm colour blind...

Well that came completely out of the green!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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I called the optician to book an appointment.

"Can you see me at noon?" she asked.

"No, that's why I'm booking a sight test."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nirdle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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Went to the opticians yesterday, guess who I bumped into?

Everyone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottmarti7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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My Muslim friend's opticians closed down recently as it wasn't doing well

It was silly of him to call it Asif Eyecare

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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I told the doctor, when I close my eyes I see pink elephants. He asked: " Have you seen an optician?"

I said "No. Just pink elephants."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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What’s an opticians favourite time of the day?

20:20

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dodge120887
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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Optician fit for a king
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitmaxup
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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What is an optician's least favorite restaurant?

Popeyes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/offeverynight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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My mother wanted me to be an optician...

I just couldn't see myself in that line of work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/catonmyshoulder69
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Opticians with dodgy eyes
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_sigh30
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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An opticians sense of humour [x-post /r/funny]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExplosiveLlama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2016
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Best Joke I’ve Ever Heard As An Optician

I was working a pre-assessment with an older guy before his exam and while I was checking his vision he stops and says;

β€œI was at the eye doctor the other day and I told the doc, β€˜hey man, why is it that everywhere I look, all I see is penises?’ The doctor told me, β€˜well, that’s because you’re cock-eyed.’”

I stopped what I was doing and laughed pretty hard, pretty loud, and shook the guys hand and told him he was hired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theoverseer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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Why do opticians have a long life expectancy?

Because they dilate.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Optician: "Would you like to go choose some frames?"

Me: "Actually, there's a pair I've had my eye on already."

(This actually happened, and she laughed.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/galactic-avatar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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My friend the eye doctor explained this to me. Ophthalmologists are doctors who specialize in eyes. Optometrists examine your eyes to see whether you need corrective lenses. Opticians sell glasses and lenses.

and optimists see glasses as half full.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whosevelt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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My local opticians is being reconstructed.

Someone reversed into the building.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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The first time I went to the opticians I was really nervous. My dad tried to reassure me.

He put his hand on my shoulder and told me, "it'll be okay. Just don't make a spectacle of yourself."

Thanks, dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IKissedAMagikarp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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Dad said this one while talking about the opticians

We were talking about the bit in the eye test where they shine a really bright light into your eye while they look at it.

My sister said 'I don't like that bit, its like its blinding me'

Dad replied, 'Well, they have to drive business up somehow!'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmCdeltaT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2013
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I was late for my optician appointment yesterday...

...when I got there I said, "Sorry I'm late, I didn't see the time"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SupineProtoplasm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2016
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I only have eyes for my optician.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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My optician's just told me I'm colour blind.

It's come completely out of the green.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lookoutnow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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You'll never guess who I bumped into at the opticians the other day.

Everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/half_beard
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2016
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You'll never guess who I bumped into at the opticians!

Everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spudgun81
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2018
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