My Dad has just had a Carotid Endarterectomy operation.
It's fairly routine but also kind of terrifying as he had to have the carotid artery in his neck opened up.
He got out of surgery yesterday and I texted him today:
"How are you feeling? Still a pain in the neck?"
As I got out on the 11th floor, the lift operator said, "Have a good day son."
"Don't call me son, you're not my dad.!!" I said.
As the lift door closed, he looked me in the eye and said, "I brought you up, didn't I ?"
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
Did you know that Dogs, regardless of breed, cannot operate complex medical equipment?
I went in to hospital for a routine operation and was furious when I woke up to find the surgeon had given me a lobotomy
I can tell you, he sure got a piece of my mind.
Let's not talk about operation barbarossa. That topic is very offensive
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.
. ....................But catscan.
When I woke up from an operation, the nurse leaned over and said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
I just got a new job as a guillotine operator....
What’s the difference between Taxes and Texas?
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
I recently got a job as an elevator operator
It has its ups and downs.
How did the biologist annoy the mathematician?
He said: "cells multiply by dividing"
My buddy Jerry had to get taken to the hospital, unfortunately it looked like he needed to be operated on. He was unconscious and when he came to, he asked “what’s going to happen, am I going to be alright?”
My mail man just had a sex change operation.
I guess I should call him a post man now
What would u call Hitler if he got removed of his own dick by operation and put someone else's dick there?
What's a celibate person's favourite operating system?
Operating a solar farm is probably easy
After all, it's a light crop
What would happen if you give McDonalds an operating system
What happens if you give a site foreman an operating system
She fell in love with a crane operator
What mathematical operation do the French despise?
After the Sex change operation, The Juggler is too scared to try juggling again.
It seems he doesn’t have the balls to do it again.
How can you tell if a booty is operational?
What's similar between strippers and those who operate election booths?
They're both poll workers.
Trying to figure out the reason why I have such difficulty with operating my doorbell.
I just can’t put my finger on it.
Why did Ho Chi Minh never conduct espionage operations at Christmas?
That's the only time anyone actually looks for Minh's spies.
A bloke wakes up in hospital after an operation and shouts "Doctor I cant feel my legs"
The doctor said i know we chopped your arms off.
I couldn't decide on which side of the road I wanted to use my loom. On the northbound side the southbound side looked better. And upon crossing to the southbound side, the northbound side looked better. The cops soon arrested me for operating under the influence.
They said I was weaving all over the road.
Yesterday I met Sally, a young woman who operates a battery kiosk at our local community park.
Sally sells C-cells by the Seesaw.
That steam roller operator said the nicest thing to me as he ran me over...
Sounds like a huge Oper-TUNA-ty!
Ever since I went through with my sex change operation my kids have been completely ignoring me
It's like I'm transparent.
I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor and as I got out, the operator said, “Have a good day, son.” I replied, “Don’t call me son, you’re not my dad.” He scratched his head and said...
“No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”
I had to call tech support for my computer the other day.
Tech Support: “It seems as though your operating system was installed backwards.”
Me: “So?”
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
Dogs can't operate MRI machines,
Dogs can’t operate MRI Machines
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.
Dogs can't operate MRI scanners.
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
